ANTICIPATING…….(more like bracing myself up)

I have noticed that nowadays Abang talks to Abah more than to me. Gone are the days when he asked me just about anything…which used to irk me sometimes, especially when he asked medically-related questions which clearly could be better  answered by Abah. I never thought that I would miss it now that its gone……Silly me, now I feel a tinge of envy whenever I saw him having a low-tone conversation with Abah. He looks so grown-up, speaking in that manner…..

He used to come home from school and regaled me with the words of praise from teachers. Always a model student ( in akhlaq matters, not academic!! he got 5As in UPSR trial though), he was once crowned ‘Pelajar Mithali”. But, he is reluctant to indulge in that kind of talk anymore, though, from Adik, I could still hear the good words on Abang in school, and amongst his many admirers!!

Up to now, the 6th Ramadhan, he is still maintaining the 20 rakaats of taraweeh plus 3 of witr at the masjid ( and wait for the ‘moreh’). Abah would come home right after taraweeh as he prefers to do witr on his own and to partake dinner as he has been having iftaar of dates and drink at masjid and would only have dinner after taraweeh to avoid sleepiness. While we are eating and chatting, we could hear him coming home, closing the gate, opening the door with his own keys, gives salaam and lock up the door, checking the bolts and all. Abah and me would smile to each other. I, for one, cannot help having this swell of pride inside me. You are so brave, matured and responsible……. 

From the deepest of my heart, I thank ALLAH for giving you to us…..you came to us after 10 years of waiting, hoping and praying. Indeed, Allah answers the prayers ( in HIS most mysterious ways) after we have reached the stage that we were certain that nothing could make it happen except when HE ordain it to happen. We have resigned to the fact that we might never have children, and strangely, were feeling okay with it. But, you came and Subhanallah, you were everything that I always dream in a baby!! 

Growing up, you have fulfilled many of our dreams. When you were just a toddler, Abah would say, “lambatnya Habri besar, nak bawak naik motor pegi masjid”. It soon happened…and when we moved to our own house, the mosque is nearer, so Abah and Abang would either cycle or walk together to the masjid. In manners too, you are what we always hope in a child. Our many relatives will testify to it!! Getting bigger and taller, you take over many of our tasks at home, making life much easier, more so as you would do it willingly on your own accord. Almost everything that we hope you would do, Allah has given you the taufeeq to do it…..

And now, is the biggest dream of Abah….and you are about to embark on the journey to fulfilling it. MasyaAllah, though we never impose it on you, you have finally decided by yourself to embrace it fully and happily. The nightly readings on the virtues of ilm and Qur’an( among others) has once again proved to be fruitful.

This melancholic writing actually came out of this……

I have been feeling sad and have been crying from time to time. Sometimes alone and sometimes with Adik or Abah when they care to layan an emotional me…huhuhu…

My beloved boy will be gone from home a few days after Raya!!!

The madrasah he is going to attend will start on the 10th of Syawwal. I am now imagining life without him….no more tens of daily kisses from him. He kisses me before and after every solat. Going to the mosque, kiss-kiss, coming back, kiss-kiss and hug, going to school, going to bed and going anywhere, must kiss Mama first…No more massaging, no more extra hand in household chores, minus one taalem reader at night, no man in the house when Abah goes out-station, the list is endless……

I A.M S.O G.O.I.N.G T.O M.I.S.S H.I.M !!!!

O Allah, in this month of barakaat, I ask Thee for the strength to face the separation…and please accept our beloved son, the apple of our eyes, to become the hafeez of Your Holy Book, the ‘alim that will benefit many and the da’ie that follows the path of the holy companions r.a….

As Anne (with an ‘e’) from The Green Gables would say…..
“Abang, your coming to our life has made our cup of happiness to be full, and Adik, when she arrived two years later, has caused it to overflow……”

(must mention Adik too,nanti ada yg merajuk)

Alhamdulillah….(feeling a bit relieved after writing this….)