OF FENCE, LASIK AND PROSTHESIS....

So, after more than 10 years , our house is getting a proper fence! The construction is still going on and is expected to be completed very soon. Mama's front garden was mutilated in the process, much to my dismay, but Abah calls it collateral damage. Hmmp!! 
Well, it was me who wanted the proper fence when we first built this house. But Abah thought, fences are a waste of money, keeping neighbours and beggars away, so, totally of no use!! Abah wants our house to be easily accessible  to everyone ....so a simple fence was built. I think I have published a picture of it before, let me see...

 Yes, this was when you two were 5 and 3 respectively. In here, you could see our simple fence of chain-links on top of 2 feet of concrete borders. And in that white pot was the small bauhinia kockiana plant that Toksu gave us as a housewarming gift.

Look, how the small plant grew into luscious flowering tree that covered the ugly fence and provided colours to our front yard almost all year round.


And of course, the perfect place for Grey's afternoon siesta. They made picture perfect companion!!


But the flowering bush is gone now sob,sob...


Anyway...you cant have the cake and eat it too,can you?

Then the much anticipated Lasik happened....

After 35 years of having glasses on my nose, I could finally ditched them!! For good, InsyaAllah...
It has been two weeks and I am still counting my blessings on a daily basis. Subhanallah...there's no word really to describe how grateful I am for this great nikmat from Allah. Only those chained to their glasses would understand my feeling I guess. I must say my decision took many people by surprise...well, its not everyday a person very well known as the most 'penakut' willing to let her eyes 'cut' opened!
 Well, of course I decided upon it after much reading on it, istikharah and mesyuwarah with Abah. The fact that no blade and needle involved in any stage helped a lot!!
 So, I DID it...met the well-known Prof Muhaya,talked to her, found out the she was Abah's senior in their undergraduate school.
I must state here that many people are inspired by my decision hehehe... I got many calls from friends and relatives to enquire further on the actual operation. My advice is, do as I did, read, istikharah,discuss with your spouse and of course, lot and lots of do'a. And by all means, watch the promotional videos widely available online, but dont look at the actual video taken by Abah during my operation!!  You'll be scared to death, at least I do!!
Prof M invited Abah to join in the OT but of course he couldnt hold my hand. But knowing he was close helped a lot, coupled with the prof's soothing words and zikr...One thing for sure, no pain whatsoever!!!

And the last highlight of this month is of Kakchik Illa went into the OT again for re inserting of her prosthesis. Alhamdulillah, the operation went well and she is now recuperating in the executive ward in HUSM. InsyaAllah, she'll be able to walk again very soon.In the meantime, we try to visit her as often as we could...helping her ease off some of her food supplies!!!

That's all for this month kids...I'm off to packing bags as Abah and me are leaving for Kota Kinabalu again. Adik, be good while staying at Ayah Mat's ya...

MISERABLE MARCH...

Just when I thought I can retire peacefully,she has to come into our life. And made my life,in particular, oh so miserable.

It was Adik who 'discovered' her and begged and begged Mama and Abah to allow her to bring that tramp home.
I disliked her on the first sight.
And it progressed to disgust and now I simply hate her!!
Nowadays I live my life in seclusion. In Mama's room to be exact. I will only go out when I couldnt smell her rotten odour  around. Well, too bad if Abah, Mama, Adik( and now its school holidays, Abang is around too) have to do extra job of making sure she is out of the house before I could be persuaded to eat.
I cant even linger in the kitchen for a second more than my mealtimes as I cant stand her pathetic voice outside the backdoor.
I am so disgusted I cant write any more...so, guys, thats all from me for now.

signing off.
Dr.M.Grey

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Oh, Grey,the ultimate snobbish cat!!!
I was hoping she would write a proper entry for this month as I am having a major brain drain due to the heat. Well, me and heat never agree. Year in, year out, you will hear about how bad the hot season affects me as Grey  has kindly written here and here. She is in  a rotten mood this year,thus not so kind!
Well, it is sooo hot now. I have been quite useless for the last two days. Cooped up in my cold dark room with minimum movement. And this morning, Maktok has to come visiting me, along with C.Nini and C.Jah and their families, after listening to exaggerated report by Abah.  And as usual, I would miraculously get well whenever my sisters are around!! Much to Abah's delight of course as he was leaving for another trip to KK this evening.
Poor Abang for having to come home for holidays in a very hot season where Mama stay away from the kitchen as much as possible. We did go for a short break in a jungle to escape the heat. Setiu Agro Resort to be exact, where all of us enjoyed  jungle trekking, canoeing,fishing and cycling in the cooler air. Here's some pics for the record;

It was made even more enjoyable as we teamed up with Mak's family where Adik became inseparable with Kak Iybah and Abang with Aqim....and the resort itself was surprisingly quite void of other holiday makers thus leaving us monopolise the canoes,pedal boats and the floating gondola. Abang got to be Imaam at the surau and recite his daily portion of the Quran on that said gondola after fajar prayer. Blissful indeed!

Insyaa Allah I'll try to make Grey writes again on her enmity with Cheeky in the coming month...
Till then, let us pray harder for rain....

FOOD AND SUCH.....

Oh, its the last day of February already? I havent got anything to write this month. Few days ago I was thinking about writing on our newly 'replenished' back garden, as in sprouting new seeds to refill the bare patches and pots which had been  left unattended since the rainy season of last December. The  project took off well, the weather being very nice and all. But, Allah indeed is The Best Planner  and He ordained that heavy rain are visiting again, and most of my seedlings couldnt stand the continuous downpour. Anyway, Alhamdulillah ala kullihaal...Allah knows best.  I managed to save some of the sturdy seedlings of kailan, cherry tomatoes , capsicums and some salads and hoping they will survive Insyaa Allah.

So,Abang and Adik, not to disappoint you, for this month's entry I decide to post pictures of our food!! Hehe...boleh la kannn...
The thing is, we have been cutting down on eating rice since last year. Down to only  once or twice in  a week . And when we do eat rice, it is either brown rice or basmathi most of the time. ( with exception when there are visitors in our home, especially Tok Su and KakChik , whom are surely will want to eat white rice with budu and all sorts of ulams and we will merrily join them!)
And we got asked by people, what do we eat if we dont do rice?
So, here's the answer;

From left: brown rice porridge, venison steak, ramen, grilled fish taco, chicken enchiladas, salmon wrap

saffron flavoured quinoa with grilled tuna steak

quinoa with braised lamb

paccheri in tomato sauce

shaksuka

Paccheri carbonara with chia seeds 

Quinoa with braised venison

Venison has become the most preferred source of protein, it being the low fat meat. As for fish, we go for salmon and tuna. We always buy one whole salmon whenever they are on sale and we got tuna steaks from Kota Kinabalu where Abah frequents for his teachings. Quinoa has become so likeable after I discovered a better way of preparing them. Dry roast them until fragrant, add water and cook with some kind of flavouring. And I have been adding chia seeds everywhere....and imposing 2 to 4 litres of plain water on everyone in the house. Well, Abah and Adik sportingly eat whatever I serve but they just ignore any other rules I make. And they rolled up their eyes every now and then at my attempts of eating healthily.
And, oh, I must state here too...most of the veges served and featured in these pictures are proudly from my own organic garden. Please take note!!

HUMBLING BEGINNING...

2013 decides to test us from the very beginning. January is the month of sicknesses, sufferings, tears, worrying and at the end, fatigue. People close and dear to us seems to get sick one by one. But, Subhanallah, we are so lucky to witness how all these peoples embraced the tests Allah put them through with enviable manners.Truly, they are the peoples who put this hadith into practice.
 Our Prophet (pbuh) said: "Verily, if Allah loves a people, He makes them go through trials. Whoever is satisfied, for him is contentment, and whoever is angry upon him is wrath." [Tirmidhi] 

It began with Cik Ma warded for suspected ectopic pregnancy. And it coincided with the predicted tropical storm of Sonamu. As the Hospital Tuanku Zahirah is located just by the famous Batu Buruk beach, people were fleeing the hospital when she had to go in!! The hospital authority was actually encouraging people to vacate, at their own risk, of course. There were only few beds occupied when we visited her. And that was a record for  the O&G ward!! 

While we were still in Trengganu, the second news hit us. Ayah Mer, called to tell us that he was to undergo a major operation in 3 days time. Surgeons at Pusrawi decided to remove his right kidney to save him . They later took out a malignant growth weighted 1.5 kg. Ayah Mer is now without one kidney and undergoing cancer treatment that has spread out onto his lungs.

These two bad news proved to be too much on Maktok who has just discharged from Tengku Anis Hospital at the end of December due to pneumonia. She was too weak to travel to visit her most beloved daughter in law in Trengganu, now to travel to KL to be with his son, even by airline, is out of question. The stresses built up and Maktok was soon landed in HUSM. 

The stress was actually the final straw. Age , uncontrolled diabetes and non compliance with medicine are amongst other factors that push Maktok .

The creatinine level in her blood rose, and so did the urea content. The doctors are now contemplating on dialysis which really scares Maktok. Nowadays, she is very disciplined in her diet especially the amount of fluid intakes.

In late December last year we lost one of Abah's  second cousin to cervical cancer. She was just 43. And now, another one of Abah's paternal cousin is suffering the same type of cancer which has also spread to the lungs. She is now refusing further treatment in the hospital and prefer to spend what valuable times left surrounded with loves from her husband and children. Then,while Maktok was still in the hospital, we also got news that our close neighbour has undergone a biopsy and was confirmed having cancer of the lungs.

Looking back though, I see many good things came out of these. As I said before, we witnessed how the sick bore their sicknesses with patience, doing lots of zikrs, distributed sadaqahs, and tried their best to do the prescribed solats on time. Masya Allah. And how, the healthy ones got so much rewards doing services to the sicks. 

Cik Nini and family took Cik Ma's broods under their wings even though they have their hands full with little Syamil. My siblings gathered in KL to  give support to our beloved brother and we gave what we could afford, spiritually ,materially and physically. And when Maktok was debilitated, most of her children and grandchildren were so lucky to get the chance to care for her as she did us when we were small. No one was reluctant and squeamish at the task of even washing her. In fact, everyone was overwhelmed by the experience!! 

And when at last, we got the chance to visit our neighbour who is now undergoing treatment at home, we were pleasantly surprised to find she was all smiling and cheerful and her ever busy husband was home. It was a surprise indeed as he is a state councillor  who should otherwise be busy with the looming election. Spousal support is indeed very important in facing any kind of trials.

Alhamdulillah ala kullihal...


 

THE END OF 2012...

Another year gone...and we all were struck with how swift the time flies. We could still vividly remember how the three of us having breakfast at the famous White House kopitiam before sending Adik off to her first day at secondary school. And now, Adik is preparing her stuff for her second year already, which will begin the day after tomorrow.  As for Abang,  2013 will see him starting the  Syahadah class InsyaaAllah.

2012 has been an eventful year for us. Good and bad things happened as part and parcel of life with tears and laughter accompanying.
Most unforgettable of course is the passing of your beloved grandfather.We all are still pining for him. Maktok's health has been deteriorating since.

K.Long Syida's nikah's that took place in our home is one of joyous moments in 2012. C.Lah and Ay.Pa have just acquired a new business opportunity that required them to relocate and they have to travel to and fro their home and the new place every so often.. Thus the decision to shift the ceremony to our place. It was beautiful and I got to be the person in charge of everything as my sister was too busy with her new business venture. It was tiring, but I got the experience of being of mother of the bride hehe...

My youngest sibling, your Ayah Su also got hitched this year...an event that the late Tok Ayah would very much like to see.

All these and some others are all without Abang's presence. The strict rules of his madrasah is one of the sacrifices Abang ungrudgingly endures, Masyaa Allah. May Allah rewards him bountifully and may his dream to be a hafidz and  an 'aliim will soon  be realized.

In this month of December, life has been hectic for us. Abah got home from hajj at the end of  November and the very next day we drove to Penang to see Abang. We discovered a new picnic place( Pantai Malindo) that was void of people! So, Abang and Adik got the chance to be the kids on the beach they used to be, albeit fully covered as opposed to in shorts and t-shirts as of the time past. Alhamdulillah...

Abah worked for a few days, then, we took off for our extended holidays. First off, in KL where we got the chance to visit the ailing Nenek Nafisah, Abah's auntie. Then we visit our friends from Glasgow days that left us reminiscing for sometimes.
(In KK later, we met another couple who not only asked us for dinner, but lent us their car so that we could go to Kundasang! Thanks Dr Wahi N Rosie....)
 Adik enjoyed listening to our tales...a few other places, then , to the main event, the reception of Kak Syida's.... Came home for two days, then we were off to Trengganu for one night, came home only to fly off the next day to Kota Kinabalu for 5 days. 

We have been trying our best to stick to healthy eating the whole year through, but, during holidays, all things go haywire.....not to mention the lacks of exercise session!!

But, InsyaaAllah, I am determined to ensure that things get back on track comes first day of 2013. Wish me luck!!

These shall be our staples from now on,beware ya Abah n Adik hehehe...(plus the brown wild rice n seaweeds we got fm Sabah)

May Allah guides us all in the forthcoming year....include us in the group of people who constantly make effort on our imaan and keep improving our 'amaals. Amin.

KAK CHIK'S SAGA.....

Introducing(drum rolls pls...)my guest writer, Miss Fadzila AKA Kak Chik!! 
Lets hear from her, shall we...

As both of you,Abang and Adik may recall, a few entries ago your Mama had promised an entry regarding a certain someone’s prosthesis..And,in order not to mungkir her janji,ur Mama asked (or shall we say forced) me write about it myself "Better to hear from tuan punya badan” she says..(tho,I think she’s saving herself from having to think of something to write this month) 
So here I am..

Before we get to the prosthesis,I think it is only fair that I start from the beginning.. Jom rewind to 16 years ago when it all started…

My first memory of knee pains was when I was in form 5. I had a bad fall while doing long jump  and started to suffer from occasional swollen knees.The doctors at GH concluded that it was a torn ligament and physiotherapy was prescribed. However the pain and swollen knees continued to persist even as I started college in KL . Looking back now I realise that the misdiagnoses was indeed a blessing in disguise arranged by Allah SWT. You'll see why soon...keep on reading ;)

You see both my parents (Tok Su and Tok Ngah to u both) were attached with USM back then which also has one of the finest teaching hospitals in the country (HUSM). Tok Ngah had casually mentioned about my swollen knee to his colleague in HUSM who suggested to bring me to  HUSM for further investigation.Little did I know that that would be the start of my journey…

I was referred to Dr Zulmi Wan (now Professor),Orthopeadic Surgeon.To be honest first impressions weren’t that encouraging.Dr Zulmi was the most “sempoi” doctor I’ve seen (well,apart from your Abah,hehe), none of the serious no nonsense persona you’d expect from a doctor/surgeon.He came into the room with a big smile and a nearly all white full faced beard, and I was like“Seriously?!!”..hihi.
Anyway,I was wrong coz he turned out to be the best doctor anyone could ask for..Alhamdulillah.

After going thru my symptoms n medical history he suggested that I undergo a biopsy to get a clearer picture on what was actually going on coz you see by then I was unable to bend my knee properly. The biopsy showed that there was erosion on my bones which pointed to either a tumor or bone tibi (this due to a classmate having had tibi).So,Dr Zulmi prescribed tibi medication which seemed to initially have a positive effect on the swelling. However, after a few weeks the pain and swelling returned. A second biopsy was done and confirmed that it was a tumor.

It was a whirlwind of tests after that, everything happened so fast.

I can’t remember the exact day I found out but I remember the room being filled with Tok Su,Tok Ngah,your Abah (my cousin),family friends,doctors and nurses ..all waiting. Dr Zulmi entered the room,we made small chat and I asked him about my condition .He took a deep breath,looked at me sadly and slowly said “You will lose your knee..”and went on to explain what it was, how he planned to treat it etc,etc. but I only had “you will lose your knee playing over and over again in my head. As I tried to digest what he was telling me,I tried to be calm..but I couldn’t…I reached out to Tok Su and I just broke down. It was just too much to digest…I had my “moment” but then I thought to myself that crying till my eyes bled would still not change anything so I might as well face it. Thinking back now, I thank Allah for inspiring that thought in me, for making me redha with it. They suspected the tumor to be synovial sarcoma and it effected my left knee. Because of this ,Dr Zulmi planned to carry out “Limb salvage surgery” where the affected part of the limb is removed (in my case,the knee) and replaced with a metal prosthesis.It turned out that that kind of surgery was still new in Malaysia at the time and Dr Zulmi was one of the pioneers in the country. (Prior to this, amputation was the only option).See..a blessing in disguise indeed...

The treatment plan involved having 2 surgeries and followed by chemotherapy.The first to remove the affected parts and reconstruct my knee for the prosthesis whilst the 2^nd was to insert the prosthesis.You might be wondering why it wasnt done all at once, well at that time the prosthesis had be to ordered from Australia and delivery took weeks. Considering the close proximity of the cancer to my blood stream, Dr Zulmi didn’t want to take any chance of waiting any longer. So the date was set on 15^th April 1998 and Alhamdulillah the operation went well. It lasted for 24 hours. They removed my knee cap,18cm of my femur, 2cm of my tibia and 50% of my quadriceps. A muscle flap was taken from my back whilst a vein was taken from my right leg to replace the muscle and vein removed. Tok Su and Tok Ngah said I was unrecognizable when I came out of the OT..hehe. Wish they had taken a picture, Im really curious to know how I looked like.I spent a few days in the ICU and the high dependency ward,but Alhamdulillah I didn’t feel any pain or discomfort.I think I was highly drugged!!

I remained in the hospital for about 100 days and underwent further 4 surgeries (to insert the prosthesis and manage infection to the surgical wound).My final diagnosis was bone lymphoma based on a biopsy done on the mass that was removed. Allah had sent so many people to make my stay as easy and smooth as possible.I always had people visiting and looking after me even when Tok Su had to return to work.I can’t thank all of them enough and can only dua that Allah reward them for their deeds.I had your Mama and Abah,our relatives,Tok Su and Tok Ngahs friends who always dropped by to see how I was doing.Your Abah diligently made sure my supply of distilled water was constant and bring me roti cotek or roti sardine for breakfast while your mama would bring Abang to visit which really made my day!

What happened next some people may call it unfortunate but I would like to think of it as my “rezeki”.A few months after I was discharged my leg began to develop signs of infection.I was put on a course of antibiotics but to no avail.Dr Zulmi suggested that the only way to properly treat the infection was to have another 2 stage operation.The first to remove the prosthesis and leave in a spacer packed with antibiotics to treat the infection internally and  a second operation to reinsert the prosthesis. Me being already “traumatized” from the previous stay, refused outright!!   As my infection appeared to be localized and had not compromised my prosthesis or my overall wellbeing,both Dr Zulmi and I agreed that the corrective operation could wait.I went on to further my studies in Dublin ,started working aannndd before you knew it 14 years had passed....

Which brings me to where I am now.

The infection had progressively caused me pain over the years,but began to worsen the past 2-3 years to the point of being at times unbearable. Painkillers started to become my best friend and I started planning my life, my every move around managing the pain. So I finally agreed to have the operation. The date was set on 11/7/12 and Alhamdulillah it went smoothly with an outcome better than expected. My prosthesis was removed without any major complication whilst the infection was found to be indeed localized and was easier to remove than previously thought.Alhamdulillah, my progress has been good so far and I am now waiting to have the 2^nd operation.

The past 14 years have definitely changed me for the better and I thank Allah for that.This gift from HIM has brought me closer to HIM, to be more conscious of HIM and also improved my relations with people around me, my family .I’m thankful for the strength HE has given me and for all the people that HE has sent my way whether to treat me,care for me,help me or even to remind me of HIM..I admit that I had my moments when I felt down and frustrated but Allah always sent me reminders and raised my spirits again. I realized that even when Allah tests us, HE arranges it in a manner where it suits us whether it be the timing ,place or type..and HE will send people to help you get thru it. So never despair if you are tested Adik and Abang, for Allah has something better in store for us.We may not be able to see it immediately,but just have faith and remember that Allah loves us so very much!


So Adik n Abang, now you know why Kak Chik is almost a permanent guest in our household. And she is always welcome to stay... 
( well, when K.chik is around you enjoy free meals at those fastfood outlets n Mama got to exploit Kak Chik's OKU card kan..can park near the entrance maaa... so, what not to welcome la kaannn hehehe)


Huh! Thankyou Illa...you saved me!
Love you much!!!

OF HAJJ AND MOTORBIKE......

October 2012 began with me getting one year older (and hopefully wiser...)
We were rejoicing over the fact that finally, my eldest brother ( your Ayah Long), is able to make the long-awaited spiritual journey to the holy land. It was a joy to all of us because it is the very wish of the late Tok Ayah. He used to fret and fret over the fact that Ayah Long is getting on in  years and being showered by so much wealth by Allah yet he still couldnt extricate himself from his busy schedule to  go and fulfill the 5th pillar. Yes, Tok Ayah couldnt witness it with his own eyes, but by Ramadhan, it was almost sure that Ayah Long and Cik Long are going and Tok Ayah was so happy...And he was made happier to see how Ayah Long has been trying to improve himself spiritually as a preparation for the journey.

Out of the blue, Abah  got a call that he was chosen too, and he was to go in less than two weeks time! Even earlier than Ayah Long himself. We were not really surprise though, knowing fully well about Abah's ongoing research project with the pilgrimages. It just that we were not prepared. Okay, it's me who was not prepared. I was supposed to feel thankful that Abah got to do haji again for the fourth time, but being weak as I am, I felt quite the contrary, astaghfirullah...

So, Abah went, and the rain started. Heavy rains as if the monsoon has decided to come earlier. And I was feeling doubly blues. No amount of whatsApp messages,viber calls or tango video calls from Abah could ease it. Yes, I was that mushy...

But, 20th of Oct arrived and brought Abang off the plane early in the morning. And I was cured!! And even the week long rain stopped too. It was shining ever so brightly on the day we made our qurban at Ayah Mat's. Adik was happy that Abang's home as she wouldnt have to walk to the main road to wait for her school bus every morning. Whenever Abah is around, Abah would send her on motor bike, and now Abang is  taking over.( It was just a short distance really) As for Abang, riding motorbike is a newly acquired skill, happened during the last Eid ul fitr holiday. He has been wanting to do that, seeing other younger boys, with  legs so short they cant even touch the ground when they are on the bike,riding around the kampung joyously. He didnt ask because he knows fully well our stand on this kind of things. But then, after seeing how tall and strong he has grown, and we could see he is now capable of handling it, Abah gave him a lesson, with not much success though, as I kept yelping nearby...(bad mama, I know)Then Aqim came and within a few minutes, Abang was confidently riding!

going for Asar...

So, he really looked forward to coming home this time around as he knew he would get plenty of chances to ride. To the mosque five times a day, send Adik to the bus stand, taking out thrash to the dustbin on the main road and go buying this and that for Mama. All these trips are of course done on small paved road away from the main busy road. That's a strict condition put by us that he has to go by. No main road until he got a license. He has to park the bike on one side of the road and walk across to buy something as most of shops are on the other side of the main road . Abang said he felt like a real grown up now!! And kept saying thank you's to Mama for giving him the chance... Thats just like Abang. It was me who should be thankful of you. Abang did a lot when he was home...and at Mak Tok's too. Both Abang and Adik vacuumed and mopped up Mak Tok's floor until it shone. MasyaAllah I was so proud of you two, Alhamdulillah...

It was one  satisfying, fulfilled week  when Abang was home. Managed to cook many of his favourite dishes too...Adik was so happy that Abang,during their evening cruises,  taught her to ride as well, without my knowledge of course, as I would never agree to it!! The highlight of the week was when  Abah told us to catch him on TV al Hijrah as he would be interviewed on a live program. As we dont have satellite tv, we hastily downloaded the 1MalaysiaTV apps and watched him on the tablet...here's Abah.

Thanks Kak Chik Illa for the picture...we forgot to screen capture any of it as all three of us were busy gazing longingly at Abah! When Abah called later, the first question Adik asked Abah was,why didnt they put make up on you!!!

Well, the rain has started again....and I'm signing off.