Monday, June 16, 2014


So, here I am again,filling in,  for Mama just couldnt bring herself to string a few sentences to oblige her daughter's plead to update this pitiful blog of hers.

I am not so well myself, to tell the truth. I think age is finally catching up with me.   I got this dizzy spell quite regularly now, and it only happens post meals. When they, Mama and Adik , first saw me wobbled , has difficulty in righting myself and finally, fall over, they screamed and  then, cried. Typical! They grabbed me, called me baby and hugged me  so tight as if I was going to die there and then!!

After witnessing a few more episodes of my losing balances, though they are still very concern ,  they quit  screaming, but they continue making lots and lots of fuss over it . Really, I cant understand these two. They call me fatty, lazy bum,sleepyhead and all sorts of degrading names ( none of which describes me ), but at a sight of me being well...just dizzy, they totally lost it!

Mama of course, googled away my condition and came up with the diagnosis of Feline Geriatric Vestibular Syndrome. Mouthful huh?( I especially detest the word geriatric, I'm not that old okay!) At least, its better than being labelled epileptic as she first presumed!

Well, I tried to tell her that I am okay and I dont have other symptoms that cats with that awful syndrome have, but to no avail. Not until she read and read and read and observed and observed and observed . At   one point, she deduced that I eat too fast and scolded me, reminded me of eating ethic of an aristocat. Indeed, I only have these dizzy spell after having meals, never at other times. So, that rules out epilepsy, as well as that mouthful diagnosis! Adik is worse, she thought I am outrightly obese, my head is not in proportion with my body anymore, thus causing me to topple over during mealtimes sometimes!

Well, I'm lost for words to tell them that I just have vertigo like what Abah used to have. And it is far better than what  Abah had as I dont vomit and it lasts only less than a minute. Plus, I could run as fast as usual right after. So, I just let them worry and the result is, I got more pampering!!

Nowadays, I enjoy extra tender loving care and more frequent treats of my favourite cans  of  sardines and salmons. Hmmm...didnt I always tell you that there's a silver lining in every cloud?

Anywaysss...enough about me ( though I know all of you wants more and more of me,right? And oh, for those of you who wonders, rest assured that I still look as good and fluffy and cute as before).

As for Abang and Adik, they are well and doing fine with their respective studies. Abang is still in syahadah class and hoping to graduate by the end of this year. Adik is preparing for her PT3 which will take place soon...and she grumbles a lot about being made guinea pigs.
They went for umrah for the second time in late February as a long overdue promised gift for Abang for having successfully committed 30 juzuks of the holy Quran to memory. The journey was postponed before because of our late Moktok being sick. It was  a joyous and meaningful occasion for them both as they now understand deeper  of the spiritual sides of the journey compared to their first umrah. Abang got to fulfill his dream of reciting the whole of the Quran in front of the Kaabah while Adik said doing tahajjud infront of the Kaabah was priceless!!

Back from the holy lands, Abah, Mama and Adik went on to visit Cik Tie at her new abode in Patayya where they had wonderful holiday with Cik Lah's family. 
I cant be bothered to find their numerous photos there...

And I'm getting tired writing I guess I'll just stop here.

Till then,so long....and  gear up for Ramadhan all of you,you hear me??

p/s I am never good at giving titles to anything,so...


Monday, January 27, 2014


Okay...I have left this space long enough. I know.

 Lets see, errmm my last entry was in August last year, so, its been 4 months. 4 months wherein so many things happened  and have changed our pattern of life quite significantly. Yup, I know both of  you, Abang and Adik, for whom this blog is dedicated to, fully understood and have forgiven me for breaking the promises made. I just couldnt find the time to write in the first 3 months and did not have any creative streak in me in the last month that followed.

So, yes, my mother left me. The beautiful, gentle and most loving grandmother of yours that you fondly call Moktok.... On the 5th Dec 2013. 1 year and 4 months after her husband of more than 50 years passed on.Oh, the tears still flow writing this out....

 Mid Sept 2013, Moktok was admitted after Abah noticed her left leg was inflamed and tender to the touch. Moktok had been diabetic for quite a number of years and errr...was not the most disciplined patient at  watching what she ate as well as not very compliant to the medication provided. Two weeks in the HUSM, discharged for a couple of days only to be re-admitted into Tg Anis Hospital where we encountered the most mediocre treatment ever from hospital staff. And that is to say it mildly....We took Moktok out, AOR, after only one night . Brought her to Perdana Specialist  Hospital only to be advised to bring her back to HUSM as they dont have a nephrologist resident.  From then on, things got from bad to worse....

 2 traumatic weeks in CCU, another harrowing week in HDU and a few days in normal ward....and Moktok was then discharged, with doctor's order to continue the haemodialysis (hd) treatment that was started while she was still quite unconscious in CCU. 
Moktok on BiPAP (Bi level positive air pressure)machine in CCU

Moktok then started  attending the hd sessions regularly at a centre near her home and we were so happy to see Moktok was almost  back to her normal self  when suddenly, without any warning, she just left us....when we were having so many plans to do with her.

Indeed, Allah is The One who has the knowledge...

Now, all of us are still talking about her, reminiscing...being nostalgic and even laughing at some memories...for indeed, besides being kind hearted, Moktok could be so funny and was such a good sport. (Oh, I really miss talking and joking with her...)  More importantly, InsyaAllah all of us are praying and presenting her with our a'maal on daily basis. May Allah give us the strength to remember to do it for all our life....for Moktok and Tok Ayah had indeed shaped us into what we are today.

We have learned so many valuable lessons during those hectic months in the hospital. Most important for me, is to value and appreciate each one of us. Masya Allah, Moktok was sick just long enough to give each and everyone of her children, sons and daughters in law and most grandchildren, opportunity to serve her. And, Alhamdulillah, what an honour it was!! We got to  care for her as she did us when we were small...clean her,bathe her, dress her up, diapers n all, feed her ...and at times when she was hallucinating yet still want to pray, we recited the prayer aloud alongside her and she followed us word by word. We took turn...all of us.

 But, there was a test for us in that too...

With quite a number of us, there bound to be some moments of difficulties... and being physically and emotionally exhausted, temper did flare some times! Nothing out of control though...and Alhamdulillah all was eventually amicably settled . The practise of gently reminding and advising each other amongst us proved to be priceless. And now that Moktok , who we always thought of as the one that binds us all, is no more with us...I feel the need to be in constant contact with my siblings are stronger. And the feeling, I discovered, are mutually shared by all of my sisters and brothers and thanks to the modern day technology , it is  soooo easy to do that.....

Okay, that is all I could manage to pen down now ..... starting again was difficult, just so you know!!