Wednesday, August 5, 2009

HYPER-PARENTING

….is something that I am guilty of. Sucked into the black hole of endless improvement along with many other parents all over the world, some being worse than the others. 

BUT, from today onwards, I solemnly promise to you, Abang and Adik, to correct myself . I dont want to fall into the trap where each accomplishment is eclipsed by another apportunity, thus subjecting the child into never-ending pressure. I checked, and Alhamdulillah, I havent been that bad, but am surely going that way if I didnt wake myself up now. And thanks to Abah too who has always been the level-headed one, making sure all along that you two grow up to be a fine, balanced kids. Left to me alone, I’m quite sure you two will become a bit like robots…hehe.

I have known for sure now that I cant control and shape my childrens’ lives, tried as I might. It all had been pre-ordained, written in Lauhul Mahfuz, maktub. 

‘Abdullah ibne-‘Umar Radhiallahu’anhuma narrated that Rasulullah Sallalahualaihiwasallam said: Everything is destined, even mental weakness and intelligence. ( Muslim)

Over-managing and over scheduling you stems from the belief that I, as a parent, should do all those things in the names of giving you, my children, the best chance to succeed in life. How stupid I have been!! I even thought that I could produce a super-achiever!! hahaha… Please forgive me if all those hyper-parenting treatment you have been receiving all this while have subjected you two to enormous amount of stress…. ( and to think that how Abah is always trying to do opposite of what I was doing and how I always got angry with him for doing exactly that….well, u know the scenario!) I will make amends, promise!!

From now on, we will have quality time together where I wont have this nagging feeling to fill you up with infos and infos….. I will have no goal in mind beyond the pleasure of spending time together. We dont have to have a clever conversation every time. I dont have to correct your manner of speaking, point out the grammar error,point out better choice of words, the intonation etc etc….Urgh, did I really do that? Unfortunately yes….(shudder!!)

If I ever find that at the end of the day, I feel exhausted, angry and stressed up because of what I have been doing with you all day, I know that I am hyper-parenting again…..And I promise to avoid it like a plague!!!

4 comments:

sakinah said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

assalamu'alaikun...kak an.tq for sharing.i completely understand.i was like that too.kak an, ina nak suggest akak try baca Dr Fred Jones " tools for teaching".u can find him at edworld website.i ordered his book thru Niza.eye opening.dia tak ajar marah2, bekeng2.dia ajar kita how to control any teaching situation by controlling ourself.Awesome kak.i've tried a bit and it really works....

Nor said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wa'alaikumussalam Ina..
thanks for d suggestion,will definitely check wit Niza...ye la,sometime I think I'm so teruk, expecting perfection from d kids while diri sendiri amat sangatlah tidak perfect!!

nor said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks for dropping by my blog. i was kinda "surprised" to see my own id in my comment box at first..hahaha

salam perkenalan :)

Nor said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wait, i just noticed a difference! I use capital N while u use all small letters... Thanks for dropping by too.