….is something that I am guilty of. Sucked into the black hole of endless improvement along with many other parents all over the world, some being worse than the others.
BUT, from today onwards, I solemnly promise to you, Abang and Adik, to correct myself . I dont want to fall into the trap where each accomplishment is eclipsed by another apportunity, thus subjecting the child into never-ending pressure. I checked, and Alhamdulillah, I havent been that bad, but am surely going that way if I didnt wake myself up now. And thanks to Abah too who has always been the level-headed one, making sure all along that you two grow up to be a fine, balanced kids. Left to me alone, I’m quite sure you two will become a bit like robots…hehe.
I have known for sure now that I cant control and shape my childrens’ lives, tried as I might. It all had been pre-ordained, written in Lauhul Mahfuz, maktub.
‘Abdullah ibne-‘Umar Radhiallahu’anhuma narrated that Rasulullah Sallalahualaihiwasallam said: Everything is destined, even mental weakness and intelligence. ( Muslim)
Over-managing and over scheduling you stems from the belief that I, as a parent, should do all those things in the names of giving you, my children, the best chance to succeed in life. How stupid I have been!! I even thought that I could produce a super-achiever!! hahaha… Please forgive me if all those hyper-parenting treatment you have been receiving all this while have subjected you two to enormous amount of stress…. ( and to think that how Abah is always trying to do opposite of what I was doing and how I always got angry with him for doing exactly that….well, u know the scenario!) I will make amends, promise!!
From now on, we will have quality time together where I wont have this nagging feeling to fill you up with infos and infos….. I will have no goal in mind beyond the pleasure of spending time together. We dont have to have a clever conversation every time. I dont have to correct your manner of speaking, point out the grammar error,point out better choice of words, the intonation etc etc….Urgh, did I really do that? Unfortunately yes….(shudder!!)
If I ever find that at the end of the day, I feel exhausted, angry and stressed up because of what I have been doing with you all day, I know that I am hyper-parenting again…..And I promise to avoid it like a plague!!!