SORRY........

Abang and Adik....

Sometimes I think I am too harsh on you two......

I"m so sorry...I really am. Lately, it seems that I got more easily upset more often. I guess separation from Abah does contribute to all these short fuses. I"m so upset now that I upset with you this morning. It doesnt make sense, does it? Anyway, that's how I'm feeling as I'm rambling now.....

I even made Abah felt guilty for these (for being away in Ipoh)....I'm just a bad mother, bad wife. I know you are just being you, an 11 and 9 y.o. To you, everything is a game. You play while you take your shower, you play with your breakfast thingy, you play with each other while brushing teeth thus spraying white bubbles everywhere, you even play while reciting the holy qur'an.....It just got on my nerve today!

Adik, you never switch the lights and the hot water off no matter how many times I remind you. You never pick your pyjamas up, it was always left in front of the toilet's door. Abang takes forever to undress, shower, made ablution and pray....I 've finished reciting Yaasin and he hasnt come out from the toilet yet despite waking up before azan. 

Waking up is another nuisance. Both of you set alarm,5.30am.... so while I was trying to offer my very last minute tahajjud, both of your alarm will set off, ting tong ting tong ting tong......but you never wake up. I've to cut short my prayer and put it off and wake you up 'manually'.

Every night,I make sure the latest you would be in bed is 9.30, depends on Isya' time. After our taalim session, it straight up to the bed, no dilly dallying. Dinner always before Maghrib, milk and cookies after quran recitation after maghrib, brush teeth, wee-wee and Isya'. Then off you are to the la la land...You have got enough sleep!

Aaaaaanyway.......

I have to start thinking of the good things about you kids, before it gets to me. Aha, I suddenly realised what was the trigger factor of all this upset feeling....your monthly test result!! I was taking a look at them after you two went to bed last night. Must speak to Abah now!!!

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Spoken to Abah, and the off to my lunch date with Kak Jae and Ina dearest....and I'm cured!!

Abah told me not to be upset over things which are not more valuable than half of a mosquito's wing in the eyes of Allah...

I should be grateful that I have a son who at the age of 11 has memorized so many surahs. Amongst them,as sajdah, al mulk, ad dukhan, al waqi'ah,al qiamah and many more(not counting the short surahs in juz Amma). Infact more than I myself could memorize.....I think you have memorized up to 12 surahs so far. And I must admit I do benefit from it as well. As a result of doing the tasme' for you I have succeeded in memorising some of the surahs as well. Plus, when we travel and no quran is available, we could still read the surahs that we recite daily, thanks to you.

And I should be proud that you love to go to the mosque, trying hard to catch up all the five times of solat at the mosque. All these are more meaningful than those academic marks...and as a matter of fact, those marks are not that bad either.....it just that, mama is so kiasu!!

As for you Adik, for a 9 y.o, you have done a good job making up your bed and tidying up your room. You put on the bedcover so nicely and arrange the pillows and your soft toys so neatly. And you always make me laugh with your antics....and to be truthful, I shouldnt be upset at all with your result. It was over 90% afterall...it just that I know you could do better. And, more importantly, you have memorized Surah Yaasin as well as al Mulk and as Sajdah...since last year, a feat that only came to me in my thirties......

My girls day out with kak Jae and Ina(soon to deliver her last child) also helped a lot......thanks a lot guys.... We should do it again.

So, my darlings....I'm sorry I lost my temper this morning.