GLOOMY JANUARY

After the frenzy at the end of 2011, the beginning of 2012 seems to be sluggish for me. When Adik started schooling , I was overcome by a feeling of melancholy. After having her home constantly for  over a month, I felt the days stretched too long and I was wishing the school hours  that end at  2pm would end sooner. It somehow escaped my mind that the primary school she used to attend for 6 years ended at 4pm everyday except Thursday ! The weather doesnt help either...

Matter was made worse when my gym instructor, a sweet, friendly and  most helpful young girl, involved in a motor vehicle accident and died instantly. I was with her on Thursday and on Friday she was gone forever. I got the news at home and was very thankful that Abah was around as I needed a shoulder to cry on. Adik was attending the tamrin as a part of the school's orientation week program. When we picked her up later in the afternoon and conveyed the news to her, Adik too burst  into tears. Over the school holidays,Adik regularly accompanied me to the gym  and had  become close with the late Nik as she would  spent time while waiting for me, either on the net or chatting with the late Nik ( if nobody needed Nik's attention).

All of us, Adik and me, all my gym buddies and her co-workers are missing her a lot and we still talk about her from time to time. We kept reminiscing how she would go extra miles to make our sessions at the gym fun and beneficial for us. How she was always open to suggestion from us, the makciks. She was the only girl in her family and was engaged to be married soon. One could only imagine how hard the news affected her own family. I couldnt bear  going  near the building for more than two weeks.

Adik and me especially had a good long talk about her death and we mutually agreed that we should appreciate  everyone we know more, and be more forgiving to others even if they might have hurt us, as we never know when they or we are going to be called back to our Rabb.

In the following week, another young person that we have never actually met, but the family has a close relationship with us, also died tragically while fighting narcotic addiction. As the family related how hard the effort he made to change, and how the wardens actually witnessed him recited the shahadah before closing his eyes permanently, we gleaned another lesson here. We shouldnt be quick in judging others at all. And as we talked about it on the car later, I felt that I could relate to how addiction was so hard to fight. Even in our all sound faculties, its not easy for us to control, say, our  unhealthy eating habit,  let alone to fight something that has gotten grip of our whole being.

January progressed with more depressing news. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, another close associate faced another crisis in her life, a cousin trying to weather the storm that is brewing in her marriage and a shocking revelation from someone who confided in me how she is actually a hermaphrodite and asking for help...

These are all strong women who face the trial with redha and I learn priceless lessons from all of them.

Then, Abah got an attack of severe vertigo. He used to get it every few years, the first one while we were in the UK about 17 years ago. Initially,I was not alarmed as it usually last for a day and then he would get better and wont show up again for a few years. But this time, it recurred after two weeks. Abah was listening to the khutbah  Jumaat  when it hit again for the second time. (The first one was while he was waiting for iftar at home with me.) He managed to finish the prayer sitting down and vomited right after that. When Adik saw a car stopped and three people carrying a man into our house, she called me and said somebody's sick and came to see Abah. Then Adik got to see how sick Abah was...She was at the said tamrin when the first one occurred and was like 3 years old when the previous episode took place.

In this very last week , I finally gather enough strength to resume my normal activity. I have been to the gym and have been sprouting seeds for our edible garden. I bought the seeds from here. And teach myself Arabic. And started my class again at the shelter home (after a two-month hiatus as I need some respite). And read, a lot.Currently, I'm reading this.(InsyaAllah I'll be writing more about my salad growing and about the very beneficial book)

Adik is happier now. In the first two weeks, I have to deal with her mood swings as she was missing her friends from primary school. Most of them chose to be in full boarding school, so they couldnt even meet on weekends. She would cry for no reasons and all I can do is hug her....

There's some  uplifting news too, to be fair.

Ayah Long is a Dato' now, being knighted by the Agong and Ummi and Abi are grandparents as Achik produced a super cute baby girl.This technically made Abang and Adik, uncle and aunty as both of you suckled from Ummi, my most beloved oldest sister.

And funny news too. We discovered that the girl wedded to the famous TV3 presenter is actually one of the girls that showed us around Seoul when we were there.And we have photos of her sans hijab and Adik edited the photo here as she was asking for anyone who has photos of her on fb or blogs etc to please respect her new image...

So, that is a looong account of our  (mostly depressing) January. 

Anyway, we still have so much to be thankful of...

Here's hoping for a better month ahead...( and more cheerful entry!)