IMPERFECTLY NATURAL pt 2

I have successfully convinced Abang to completely stop using hair-shampoo. 

No, we dont let him goes around with a headful of foul-smelling hair….. instead, he is now going around smelling like….. tomyam!! hehehe…its limau purut darling. 

Yes, he’s replacing chemical shampoo with a natural, healthier and cheaper substitute. Plus, no plastic bottles involved….The environment is smiling at Abang! 

As for Mama and Adik, we are slowly following suit….the thing is, we need the conditioner to deal with the tangles . Well, actually we wouldnt need the chemical-laden hair conditioner if we strictly follow the sunnah of our beloved prophet of oiling the hair before bedtime. Alas, due to the weakness of our imaan, we’ve been neglecting this practice. InsyaAllah, we’ll try to be more steadfast in following the sunnahs in future. 

We are now using more plants from our garden in our cleansing routine, the limau purut( kaffir lime), hibiscus leaves, bunga telang and santan to name but a few. Adik sometimes has a mandi bunga session which she loves, loves, loves…..We picked up flowers in 7 colours, put them all in a basin of water and let them soak up some energy from the sun prior to using it.

The limau purut which are in abundant in our backyard, they make good shampoo and leave behind a fragrance bathroom.


Abang and Adik, please forgive me for drilling into you (when you were smaller) to use shampoo every other day. (Or everyday if you come home with your hair soaked in sweat after an evening of out-door games with your friends) I was  ignorant and selfish. I just want you two to always smell fresh like babies, thus the enforcement. My ignorance has exposed you  to those harsh chemicals which, Na’uzubillah, could lead to many form of skin disorder/disease. From now on, I promise to make amends. So, please bear with me while I experiment with this and that….

Food wise, we have been cutting down on the usage of white flour. No more white bread now and I thank you Abang for always reminding me whenever I touched any white-flour based products. (much to my annoyance sometimes…especially when I have this craving for something not- so -wholemeal ) I’m so happy that all four of us are in this together. Everyone seems to like the changes I’ve introduced. I thought Abah would be sceptical, but turn out, he’s giving me full support, even commending me….with a reminder though. One that I absolutely agree….which is, whatever those scientists/nutritionists are discovering or recommending, we shall only follow them if they do not clash with the sunnahs of our beloved prophet. No matter what their arguments are, there’s no better way than the way of Rasulullah SAW which will guarantee the success in this world and the hereafter.

So, whatever information I came across, we make sure they are not contradictory to the sunnahs before applying them. 

The more I read, the more I see that we should go back to the ways of our grandmothers. Eat what they ate, use what they used. I still remember my own grandma ( passed on before you two were born) painstakingly made her own cooking oil from coconut . The by-product of which would be used to ‘shampoo’ our hairs. Nowadays, nutritionists all over the world are praising the coconut oil which was once deemed as the bad guy.

See, science changes all the time, but the sunnahs stay and will always be relevant till the end of this world.......

So, remember Abang and Adik, always follow the one that always stay true from the beginning to the end….

I CAUGHT A SNATCH-THIEF!!

Yes I DID!! But, errr…only on camera , hehehe..And it wasnt even me who snapped the pic! It was Fatihah (the girl I’m training to replace me at the shelter home) who did it.

I was too astounded to do anything. It happened right smack in front of my eyes!!

We were walking towards my car, having finished the day's work at the office. I didnt get to see the actual ‘snatching’ action, but I saw the snatcher being chased, caught and handcuffed . It was horrifying watching  three guys chasing him, moving swiftly amidst the traffics and ended up tackling the snatcher face down in a nearby petrol station.

And the fact that one of them produced a handcuff….(it was like watching a scene from Gerak Khas ) . 
Apparently,they were plain-clothed policemen who were actually patrolling that area. Unknown to me, the area in front of our office is actually one of the most targeted area for snatch-thief, thus the patrolling.

We actually had a lot of pictures and even one with his face right on camera but I dont feel right publishing it. And, oh, this guy was wearing a t-shirt with an " Impossible is Nothing" written boldly on the back....the other guys seen here (except the one in helmet) are the policemen.

I just cannot forget the guy’s face. I always have this image in my mind that a snatcher is a scruffy-looking, thin with an unkempt appearance…..but this guy totally did not fit into that. He couldnt be more than 20 years of age, have a strong body and surprisingly, good-looking. He looked just like your typical college-goers…..When he was caught, he got the gut to smile at people crowding in to take a look at him!!

People were saying that he was lucky the police were there, otherwise he would have been beaten to a pulp by the people. 

I felt uneasy for the rest of that day……I told Abang And Adik about the incident, showed them the pictures and as usual, poured my heart out to them. I told them how sad/ashamed his parents would feel should they get to know of their son being caught snatching……

Two days later…….

Adik and me were browsing the aisle of children clothing at Billion supermarket and it happened again!! And I saw the snatcher again. This time, surprise, surprise…..it was a teenage girl! Dressed in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. I actually saw her when she was running away after snatching a necklace from a 6-year-old girl who was trailing behind her mother. The little girl cried out of pain as her neck was bleeding from the snatching and it was only then her mother realised and shouted for help. One of the sales attendant gave a chase but lost her in the midst of weekend shoppers.

Nowadays, Adik’s hand is always firmly in mine whenever we walk in the public places. Not that Adik is wearing any golden ornaments, but , still, I dont feel safe anymore. I feel suspicious to all youngsters hanging around in malls, on the bikes at the traffic lights and everywhere….

I know we are reading/hearing about this snatch-thief almost everyday in the media, but when it happened right in front of you, you get some sort of rude awakening…..

All I can think of is, all of us must double our effort in amr maaruf nahi mungkar works….this is the only sure-fire way to combat all these bad things happening around us…… 

p/s yes, i have a new template, thanks to Kak Cik, the petite lady with many blogs, talents and professions....

RUBELLA STRIKES!!

Abang is down with Rubella....on the very first day the school re-opens after a 2-week holidays. My poor darling boy...... He's covered from head to toe with angry red rashes. It started on the face and then rapidly spreaded to the trunk and limbs. We cannot be sure where did he get it. As the incubation period for this disease is 2 to 3 weeks, he might had contracted it from somebody way before school holidays.....and now, looks like Abang got himself another week of school holidays!!

Alhamdulilllah, regardless of the fever and itchiness, Abang is doing all what he's supposed to do. The five prayers, the daily qur'an recitation and hafadzan, the study and even his share of houseworks....I cannot help feeling proud seeing him doing all these.

Here's Abang, smiling, despite the discomfort.....

The rashes even got into his eyes and scalp too....but Abang is so patient, hardly scratching/complaining at all.



And here's Grey, faithfully accompanying Abang, in health and sickness.....

( she's wearing her new bow, a gift we brought home from our holidays to make up to her for leaving her , taken care of by our kind neighbour who is also madly in love with her, Makcik Zon...Grey, as usual, was upset to be left behind and rebelled by overeating.....result being, her tummy now touches the floor when she moves. Must put her on a strict diet......)





Well, Abang, just thank Allah that rubella strikes you in your young age, thus, minimal systemic upset. I got mine in my late twenties and had to suffer stiff joints for nearly a month , made worse by the notorious Scottish winter. As it is a self-limiting disease, Insya Allah, you'll be up and about in just a few days. Till then, enjoy your extended leaves!!

VENTING OUT....

This is my third and I hope, the last of my appointment as the manager of this shelter home. I know, it sounds selfish when I say that....but, one cannot swallow more than what one can chew.(ada ke peribahasa mcm ni, kalau takde, consider it my invention, tp mcm pernah dengar) 

I got mentally and emotionally exhausted at the end of the days that I have to deal with parents and problematic trainees. No, its not about their discipline or anything to do with it, the two wardens handle that admirably. I deal with their innermost feeling. Their confusion, their uncertainty, their fear, their guilt and everything else in their heads. They will just pour their hearts out and look up to me to give the solution..... How I wish I could have the answers , only I dont........But I try me best. Summoning all my concentration, for these kids always know when we are listening to them half-heartedly. At the same time, trying to assemble an answer in my head. Raking my failing memory box for the stories of Anbiyaa' or the holy companions that I could relate to their predicament. Then, speak to them word by word, repeating it again and again...trying to make them digest the words and praying to Allah to please, please give them understanding.......and most of time too, the 'waterwork' will be going on full-blast and I would involuntarily join in. Sigh......

The days with parents are no easier...... When they come for interviews, they are all humble and repentance. Nodding vigorously to all my suggestions, agreeing with my every word, attentively listen to my 'lectures'...model parents in short!! And if I say,
  " Maaf ya, anak puan/encik ni tak sesuai dengan tempat kami / kami penuh sekarang, next intake is in 2 months time...", 
they will start pleading...Oh how they plead! They would accuse me of not understanding their HUUUGE problem. So now they have the biggest problem on the earth. So now they realise how bad the situation is and look, it has crept into their own home!! They couldnt believe it is happening to them. They are good people ( they always say that) and their children are good, they are not at fault. It is the world against them.......I will usually let them blabber for a good 10 minutes or until they are out of their breath. I dont need to counter that, dont have the strength left even if I want to. 

These are the same people whose forehead never crease a single frown seeing ma'asiat rampantly taking place around them . Enough said.

By mid-June or latest, early July, I hope to be freed from this taxing task....I need to tackle those books that I ordered online and still in their wrappers. Ditto those magazine that we ( me and Abah) subscribe to that keep piling up and blogs of friends that I used to frequent before. So swamped I was with works that I even missed an important announcement made by a good friend on her blog. What would she'd think when I didnt react to that piece of joyous news....some good friend I am.

Thanks to you my dearest.....Abah, Abang and Adik, for bearing with me and my mood swings( always happen when I'm tired and under stress), for listening to me when I felt nauseated and had to spill everything out and for closing an eye to all my shortcomings in being a wife and mother during those times...... 

p/s Dik, sori ye,this month I can only manage this one post....

COMING OF AGE

Adik turned 10 on February 19th and Abang became 12 on March 5th. As usual, we do not make a fuss over birthdays. Sometimes we even forget about them altogether.

However, this year, Mama happened to remember ( actually, I always remember..) and wished or, more accurately, made a special do’a for both of you. Adik requested a home-made chocolate cake and to please bake it in a bundt tin. Abang, ever the thoughtful one, gave Mama a choice, either a cheesecake or a fruit cake, whichever is easier for Mama. ( Mama translate it to what ingredients do I have in my pantry).

It was weeks later before the cakes materialised. Better late than never kan!!

Here they are…..drool!

(Abang's fruit cake that he brought to school to share with friends)

(Adik's chocolate cake baked in bundt tin becouse she loves to see the topping running dow n the grooves...)

With 12th birthday, come the long-awaited IC. Abang was so excited by it. A few of his friends have already own one and been showing them off at school. Abang couldnt wait to have his….

Seeing how excited you were, Abah and me, took advantage of it……hehe..sorry ye Bang…we told you how you must now be more responsible and be a grown up in general…..otherwise, the JPN might deem you are not quite ready to own an IC and refuse to let you have one!!

We started with your waking up in the morning, as in responding to the alarm instead of sleeping through it nonchalantly!!! Abah stressed on the importance of going to the mosque for all 5 prayers regardless wether Abah is around or not. Mama stressed on less manja/merajuk/long face dan apa2 yg sewaktu dengannya.

So, I'm happy to report now that we dont have to wake you up in the mornings anymore!!! Soon as the alarm went-off at 5.30 am, Abang is all rise and shine!! By the time the mu’azzein calls the azan, Abang is all ready in school uniforms and goes to the mosque either walking or cycling, depending on the mood of that particular day.

Hehehe…it works!!! Err…cannot say the same about the manja part…he still need 3 good night kissing sessions before bed…..one right after ta’alem, another one coming out of toilet and teeth-brushing and last one, Mama and Abah have to go kiss him in his bedroom!! Either that or he’ll come knocking on our door…..deny him of that, a long face will greet us in the morning!

Abang now goes to the mosque for all 5 prayers, with Abah and alone if Abah is not home. Abah got him a kind of torch light that you wear on your head . So, Abang shines in the dark….literally. May Allah shines your way in the akhirah as He has promised to for those who frequents the mosque even in the dark.

Alhamdulillah….so much improvement in other areas too. Abang has taken full responsibilities on making sure all windows are shut by six pm. and taking out the garbage, both to the compost heap and to the big bin outside.

As for Adik, you are doing extremely fine with keeping your room spick and span. I am so please about this!! We got her a set of cute pink broom and dustpan ( YES,everything must be PINK) and hang it behind her bedroom door and she’s been using it every morning before going off to school. Well done Adik!!

And Adik has taken up the task of clearing up the table after every meal and has been doing it remarkably well. All these however, cannot surpass the happiness she brought us when she declared that she’s now going to be a full time hijabi……Alhamdulillah!! Now we see Adik putting on a tudung everytime she goes out of the house….

All things well and good…..but I cant help noticing something that never were there before…..and they’re bothering me!!

Abang used to be clueless about why girls kept throwing glances at him, kirim salam via Adik, sending to him small gifts every so often etc. Nowadays, he smiles sheepishly everytime one particular girl passes in front of him/us and blushes too!! Oh, how he blushes!!

Out of a heap of gifts he gets from girls on his birthday, ( it came from year 4,5 and 6 girls!!) he seems to like the one from that girl so much. Hemm…very disturbing indeed!! And, oh, dont let me start on the girls…they are so daring nowadays!! The girl from year 4 sent her gift, a story book, with the inscription, ‘untuk lelaki pujaan ku !!!

Adik pulak….keeps noticing her physical body changes and secretly wishing ( I just know!) that she’ll have her menstruation soon!!

If it is up to me, I want both of you to stay young forever….be my babies always…..

But,….I guess the time has come for me to start telling you about birds and bees…more seriously. I’ve been telling you bits of it every now and then, but now is the time to be open and all.

I am so worried about this. Working with the shelter home, make me more aware of this matter. Seeing three 13-year-old gave birth has changed me. I am now more committed than ever to do the work of da’awah. I have come to realise that what is happening to our society now is actually a bala from The Almighty. Every one of us has to do the work of amr maaruf nahi mungkar. It is the neglecting of it that has brought out this calamity that we are facing now. It really is not enough for us to just keep an eye on our own family and turn a blind eye on our neighbours, friends and society as a whole.

O Allah, give us strength to do this noble work and please, please choose all of us to be Your da’ie......

AN ORGANIC FIELD DAY

This is another no-brainer filler post…..

Well, I dont mean to brag, but I do keep to my new year resolution to feed my family more natural food and be kinder to environment as a whole.

On the days that I felt extra conscious on these issues, I went shopping for groceries with carefully drawn shopping lists. And it made for shorter shopping times!! Talk about killing two birds with one stone!

I went to Pasar Tani and bought produce from all those makciks who grow their own veges on small scale in their backyards. And I bought wild freshwater fish, not the farmed ones. Organically reared ducks too.

I brought a shopping-cart with me and put the groceries directly into it, refusing plastic bags wherever possible and get either grateful or guilty reactions from the makciks. They would thank me for saving their plastic bags and/or offer me something else to make up for it. So I end up with some free veges. See, it helps to be kind to the environment. We got rewarded instantly!!

I brought the ‘green bag’ when I go shopping in the supermarket for those stuff that I couldnt get at the farmer’s market. Crammed it full to the brim with wholewheat pasta,wholemeal pitta, tempeh wrapped in banana leaves, freshmilk and some other organic produce. I actually hate it that I have to go to tesco to get them as other supermarkets in KB do not stock these items. (I am now actually boycotting tesco for not responding to my emails complaining of something despite their promise to reply all emails within two weeks!!)

And here are what I cooked on one of the weekends that I felt particularly environmental friendly and health conscious and extra rajin……

Stir-fried organic soybean sprouts.....

Braised organic duck breast...yummy!!

.

the works......

We also got grilled wild catfish and acar pisang benggala that I bought ready-made from one of the makciks at the farmer’s market. And, as I am crazy about veges, I made another dish of pucuk paku goreng with extra chilly that I end up eating alone as nobody else could tolerate the hotness of it….

Well, we dont usually eat many dishes in one meal but as I said, it was one of those weekends…and it doesnt happen very often. I feel obliged to cook something extra on weekends that we are actually home ( quite rare too) after feeding all of you simple meals throughout the week. We eat mostly pasta and pitta dipped in either fish curry or beef/lamb stew that I usually made in huge quantities and freeze and ration it out throughout the weeks.

And I did go an extra mile and actually cooked/baked organic dessert….an achievement indeed for me!!

Abah’s all time favourite, lepat pisang.......(as he has been hinting many times before that I cooked too much western kuehs that he doesnt dig!!)

Yes, the flour is inorganic, I know….but everything else is…bananas from our backyard of course!

Bingka Ubi Kayu....(Ok, I didnt make this one on the same day...the fact must be accurate, ada auditor baca this blog maa...wink* to youknowwhoyouare)

It smelled Oh so good!! It’s my first time actually….

….( this one is almost hundred percent organic. I used grated tapioca wildly growing in our orchard, extract colour and fragrance from pandan leaves and a bit of coconut milk…well, got to use a bit of inorganic sugar for some sweetness.)
I think this is the most natural food I ever cooked!

That’s all….hope it satisfies you Adik…I posted my entry for April!! Stop bothering me now!!

EFFECTIVE PARENTING

I attended an effective parenting workshop during one of the weekends last month. I mentioned it to two friends. One said,

“Why did you bother, you are an effective parent already maa…”. 

The other said,

" Your kids are like angels, I wish mine are more like yours…”

Little that they know I am more of a defective parent than effective one.

And those two ‘angels’ could raise your blood pressure to an immeasurable level!

The workshop was fun….Well, I didnt actually learn anything new, but it was good nevertheless. I like the first speaker’s presentation the most. I know all the 3 speakers personally, they being in the same academia world as Abah. The second speaker is an adolescence psychiatrist and the other one is a paediatrician too.

The psychiatrist put us in 3 separate groups and we were to make a role-play based on a given scenario. He wanted to see how we generally deal with our kids in a ‘difficult’ situation. He observed, invited comments from other groups and lastly, gave his professional overview.

I didnt agree with everything he said, but it was good to hear what others think.

One of the things that I do not agree in the concept of counselling is where the punishment is concern. I stick to the principle that based on the wise words of Luqman al Hakim which could be loosely translated to the meaning that, the use of the canes on our children are as indispensable as water to the plants.I often find myself in a situation where I was so angry with you two and lashed out words that were really uncalled for. I regret them as soon as it came out from my mouth. And I might have pinched or slapped your wrists on many occasions.

What makes the difference are, when I do it ‘consciously’ as opposed to doing it to satisfy my own own anger. Doing it consciously mean that I plan ahead what to say, and if the need to use the cane arises, I’ll recite Basmalah prior to it and make niyyat to actually acting upon the wisdom of Luqman and pray that you wont repeat the same mistake in future. And, MasyaAllah, it works all the time!! But, being a weak human being, I dont always remember to do it…. 

I succumbed to my own nafs …… 

Abang, Adik…I’m sorry for all those times that I simply lost it.

Interestingly, at the end of the session, the psychiatrist himself admitted that, in certain situations, he himself wouldnt practice what he preaches…..proves that there is no hard and fast rules in raising our kids. What may work with some kids would never work with some others. After all, each child is a unique individual…..

In our case, Abah and me found that though we raised you in the same way, talked to you in the same tone, try to instil into you the same values, yet both of you are like chalk and cheese. So different!! I am ever so thankful to Allah that we only have you two. Hats off to mothers who have many children and yet able to keep their sanity. I am nowhere near these wonderful women.

I have concluded long ago that whatever good or bad you have in you, doesnt really come from our teaching….well,maybe some, but not much. Lots of other things are contributing to it….Of course it is tempting to take the credit for all the good things and blame others for the bad ones, but the reality is not like that. I would say that our nightly taalem plays a very important roles. I have seen and heard good things coming out from both of you when I least expect them. Things that I have not literally teach you yet. For all your sleepiness and bored looks during the session, you do absorb like sponges!! 

Alhamdulillah….

It also proves that reading-aloud really does work wonders with kids and adults alike.