Wednesday, October 22, 2008


On the second day of Raya, S, the 14 y.o trainee gave birth to a boy. I didnt get to see them until a week later when my class resumed. The baby usually stay with the mother not more than one week in the Home, but with people still in holiday mood, the adoption process was slow. Thus, I got to see her nursing the baby.....and the image stuck in my mind . And it is most disturbing.....

She is so small, that was so not right to see her breastfeeding the baby. The breasts were naturally engorged and disfigured her and she had this bewildered look in her eyes.....

I cried there and then, which is not appropriate at all.

I always have a soft spot for her since she was referred to this Home by the JKM. She is a real rape victim as opposed to those alleged ones(where they claimed to be raped, but upon questioning, its always the same old story of following the boys home after a few, it cannot be classified as rape per se as they are looking for it!) . Raped by a stoned neighbour, assisted by her own auntie who is the girlfriend of the said addict!!

When she first came, she had this empty look on in her eyes. She is a pretty girl with big round eyes but those eyes are always staring through you, as if you dont exist. She didnt talk, didnt smile and cowered everytime we spoke to her.
During interview, she said nothing at all. 
The manager only got the story from her mother who is a factory worker. When I finally met her a week later, she opened up to me. Detailing the two occasions she was violated. She spoke with this small and innocent voice that really affected me.

The wretched drug-addict was subsequently arrested but guess what? His parents bailed him out and then, had the gut to go and scolded S's grandma for reporting their son!! Huh! some people.........

She gradually warm up to the kakak-kakak at the Home. After about 3 months, she finally "see", and generally have purpose in her eyes again. It was really a blessing in disguise for her to end up here. She has stopped schooling after finishing primary school, therefore didnt read very well ,couldnt recite the qur'an, almost never pray and actually living no life at all.....

Nowadays, she reads confidently, finishing the muqaddam and jokes around with other trainees, even able to ask questions in class. She is well-liked by all, never brought any problem to the management, always helpful.I think she is happier here than in her own home.
Her family cannot afford the fee, so she is fully sponsored by the Home itself.

I shuddered thinking about the home she is going to go back to, few months from now. The small space occcupied by 9 other people including THE auntie and S's stepfather......I did talk to Abah about the possibility of 'adopting' her....Abah has no problem with the idea but I'm quite sure her mother wont listen to it. As for you two, Abang and adik, I'm sure you would like to have a live-in kakak......kan?? Let us pray to Allah to give the best solution for this......

As I'm writing this, M, the manager text me about not yet finding the suitable family to adopt S's baby......We do have a waiting list for adopting family but it seems that everyone wants a girl. And girls are rarely born here for the reasons known only to Allah.

Poor S...its hard enough to give up your own child for adoption.

Those tear-jerking moments at Oath Commissioner's I've endured during the days I managed the Home. A child is a child, however way it is born.....those girls would cry their hearts out forgetting that they never want the baby in the first place( some even tried to abort them.....) 
We tried to go over the adoption process as soon as possible, before the bonding of mother and baby set in to avoid more stress on the mothers.

Poor, poor will be very hard for her as the bonding has surely taken place now. It's been nearly a month. I pray for a good family to come soon and take the baby to raise as their own.......


Unknown said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

kesian kat baby tue..... ;-(

moga dia dibesarkan oleh orang yang layak.....

Elham said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

InsyaAllah, this weekend ada a good family from Melaka nak datang tengok dan InsyaAllah akan adopt the baby.

jauharee said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

'Home' always try their hard to make sure baby will adopted with good family kan?...and Allah had helps them more dengan mempertemukan family yg diluar jangkauan kita and alhamdulillah these babies are well with new family (as i had chance to see them in one gathering)...same goes for the girl, we are concern on how they will be outside there after all the tarbiyah from Home... and adopting the girl is one thing that will help much..if I had chance oneday, i will also do it...

Elham said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Jauharee...(H ni kan?)
The interview that we conduct before admitting people to waiting list of adopting family is quite 'tough' our effort to make sure the babies are in better hands. So,Alhamdulillah, so far so good.

(come and visit the Home if u are around....byk lagi nak kena belajar from u)

Ku Keng said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Before Ramadhan there was a case in KL, that my friend took to RS for delivery. He was told that she is from a very poor family from Kemaman, and had been gang-raped. Also hardly 15+.

Upon delivery, the child was adopted by her uncle. But what amazed the auntie was that when she and her father came to see the child, they slept together in the same room in spite of being given separate rooms. Then they realised that this is not a case of gang-rape, but incest.

This is what is becoming of our society.

Elham said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

so sad kan when things like that happened. In RS Kelantan dulu pun ada this kind of case. We reported it to the police when we found out and the father was arrested.

During interviews,the trainees, and sometimes the parents too, will lie just to be able to get into our place, but usually , after 2 to 3 months with us, truth will prevail.