EFFECTIVE PARENTING

I attended an effective parenting workshop during one of the weekends last month. I mentioned it to two friends. One said,

“Why did you bother, you are an effective parent already maa…”. 

The other said,

" Your kids are like angels, I wish mine are more like yours…”

Little that they know I am more of a defective parent than effective one.

And those two ‘angels’ could raise your blood pressure to an immeasurable level!

The workshop was fun….Well, I didnt actually learn anything new, but it was good nevertheless. I like the first speaker’s presentation the most. I know all the 3 speakers personally, they being in the same academia world as Abah. The second speaker is an adolescence psychiatrist and the other one is a paediatrician too.

The psychiatrist put us in 3 separate groups and we were to make a role-play based on a given scenario. He wanted to see how we generally deal with our kids in a ‘difficult’ situation. He observed, invited comments from other groups and lastly, gave his professional overview.

I didnt agree with everything he said, but it was good to hear what others think.

One of the things that I do not agree in the concept of counselling is where the punishment is concern. I stick to the principle that based on the wise words of Luqman al Hakim which could be loosely translated to the meaning that, the use of the canes on our children are as indispensable as water to the plants.I often find myself in a situation where I was so angry with you two and lashed out words that were really uncalled for. I regret them as soon as it came out from my mouth. And I might have pinched or slapped your wrists on many occasions.

What makes the difference are, when I do it ‘consciously’ as opposed to doing it to satisfy my own own anger. Doing it consciously mean that I plan ahead what to say, and if the need to use the cane arises, I’ll recite Basmalah prior to it and make niyyat to actually acting upon the wisdom of Luqman and pray that you wont repeat the same mistake in future. And, MasyaAllah, it works all the time!! But, being a weak human being, I dont always remember to do it…. 

I succumbed to my own nafs …… 

Abang, Adik…I’m sorry for all those times that I simply lost it.

Interestingly, at the end of the session, the psychiatrist himself admitted that, in certain situations, he himself wouldnt practice what he preaches…..proves that there is no hard and fast rules in raising our kids. What may work with some kids would never work with some others. After all, each child is a unique individual…..

In our case, Abah and me found that though we raised you in the same way, talked to you in the same tone, try to instil into you the same values, yet both of you are like chalk and cheese. So different!! I am ever so thankful to Allah that we only have you two. Hats off to mothers who have many children and yet able to keep their sanity. I am nowhere near these wonderful women.

I have concluded long ago that whatever good or bad you have in you, doesnt really come from our teaching….well,maybe some, but not much. Lots of other things are contributing to it….Of course it is tempting to take the credit for all the good things and blame others for the bad ones, but the reality is not like that. I would say that our nightly taalem plays a very important roles. I have seen and heard good things coming out from both of you when I least expect them. Things that I have not literally teach you yet. For all your sleepiness and bored looks during the session, you do absorb like sponges!! 

Alhamdulillah….

It also proves that reading-aloud really does work wonders with kids and adults alike.

SENTIMENTAL BOOK MEME

Kittykat tags me to do this meme. And with tags of all kinds, there are a certain set of so-called rules to be followed….BUT…I am not the most ‘sporting’ blogger, I’m going to break bend some of the rules here… 
(sorry Kitty, you may not want to include me in future tags after this, and I’ll understand, no worries….)

For those who are interested, you can read the rules here.

But of course I have valid reasons for being a spoilsport…….

Anyway, here goes my list…..

THE BOOK THAT’S BEEN ON YOUR SHELVES THE LONGEST

My shelves? My own shelves? Hemm..let’s see. We have been in this house close to 10 years now and yes, I can see that those Patchwork and Quilting books have been there forever. Now, they do bring back memories….
Those years of loneliness, in cold Royston Hill of Glasgow, when you two havent arrived in our life. I occupied my time, trying to beat the winter blues , with this self-taught craft. I made many beautiful things, quilt,pillow covers, table clothes etc ,scattered throughout our home and also as gifts to friends and families, which were always highly appreciated. I used to be crazy about it,spending my money on books,materials and gadgets. (Mail orders are just so reliable over there.) 
 Alas, the passion has died now….

Here they are…….

I have though of donating the books to the library so that they could bring enjoyment to others as they have brought me. BUT, I still cannot bring myself to do that. I guess I’m still hoping that one day, the passion will resurface….or, you , Adik, may want to take it up later….Sewing is, especially with your hand, is a good way to occupy your time and I read somewhere that the syaitaan find it difficult to kacau orang yang menjahit….I think there’s some truth in it. Time flies quickly when you are at it and you could recite as much zikrullah as you go about it.

THE BOOK THAT REMINDS YOU OF SOMETHING SPECIAL IN YOUR LIFE ( a person, a place,a time, etc)

HAYATUS SAHABAH VOL 2….I always have this warm tingly feeling whenever my eyes chanced upon it. Abah gave it to me during our short engagement period.(he actually sent it via Tok Ayah when they met at the markaz where they gathered every thursday night.Yes, Tok ayah was our 'posmen',haha!) 
On the memo page, there was this sweet little note, he wrote,"....
Well... sorry, I changed my mind, not gonna publish it here, its kinda private. But, you two, Abang n Adik, can check it out yourselves. 
Ok,ok...I'll share a bit of it...in a nutshell, he asked me to read on the marriage of Hazrat Ali r.a to Fatimah r.a...and wished the same could be done in our wedding ceremony. It sounds impossible at first, but, Alhamdulillah, with a twist of fate , we were able to pull it off.....not 100%, but close.... 
What made it even sweeter was, accompanying the book was this very pretty colourful beads rosary(tasbih) that Abah strung himself as a token of love for me….hihi… 
(so you can just imagine how I then said my daily tasbeehat using that tasbeeh while day-dreaming of my future husband!!)

A BOOK YOU ACQUIRED IN SOME INTERESTING WAY (gift,serendipity in a used bookstore,prize, etc)

This book….

It was presented to me at a Reading Contest held at our favourite library. Only a good friend like Niza, or popularly known as Kak Chik, would think that I was fit to be a judge….So, there I was, being a judge ( but couldnt pick Adik as a winner because she’s my daughter!!) . That was the first and the last time I was chosen to be a judge…..hahaha

Anyway,it’s a good book that we had read over and over again in those years of reading aloud together….hemm, suddenly I”m missing those moments…. ( Kitty, this really is a sentimental book meme!!)

A BOOK THAT’S BEEN WITH YOU TO THE MOST PLACES

Muntakhab Hadis

THE MOST RECENT ADDITION TO YOUR SHELVES

The Kite Runner. 

I know, I know…its kind of ketinggalan keretapi…but I read Khaled Hosseini’s second book , A Thousand Splendid Suns, first , and it made so much impact on me that I just thought, I must read his debut novel. I Read the ATSS exactly at that time the attack on Gaza was going strong, so, the effect was indescribable… I really felt for those who had to live their everyday lives with mortars and bullets whizzing over their heads 24/7. I just have to say that the book was so intense that at times I just had to stop reading and go doing something else for sometimes until all those overwhelming feelings subsided. I’ve yet to finish the Kite Runner, but so far, so good…

A BONUS BOOK THAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT BUT DOESNT FIT INTO THE OTHER QUESTIONS

This book…. 
 

I have read it many times and always get new perspective, new understanding every time. I realise that only with the ihsan of Allah would anyone be granted the real understanding of deen….I just hope that we would be blessed enough to be able to grasp the wisdom contain therein….Someone, may Allah bless you, has been putting up excerpts of the book here.

As I grow older, I became very choosy of the books I read, more so on religion-themed ones. It is so easy to be influenced and, Na’uzubillah, corrupted, by what we reads and perceive as right with our limited intelligence. I am forever grateful for my own brother, an alim in all four mazhabs, wherefrom I always get good advice and to whom I always turn, whenever I’m in doubt, apart from Abah of course. I would also like to remind you, Abang and Adik, to always hold these two uncles of you, Ayah Cik Razif and Ayah Ji,(the two maulanas in our family) in high esteem, and to always seek their wisdom in all your urusan dunia dan akhirat.

Now, I just cannot think of anybody to tag…… as a reluctant blogger, I dont have many friends in the blogosphere. And the one I know, Niza is already being tagged. All my nieces and nephews that made up the majority of readers of this blog are all busy with their never-ending assignments/thesis whatever. My two loyal readers who might be suitable to tag, do not blog. So, how??

I, however would like to tag my new-found friend Jannah…..but, of course I would understand if she refuse to do this…..(as i myself has refused to take an award given by a friend and she understood it which made me forever grateful to her)

GREY ( part 2)

Disclaimer: do no read if you are not cat-lover
Previously on Grey’s anatomy…………

Since then,Grey has grown FAT, obese actually!


This is the new Grey;

A

Having been spayed, she now has no interest whatsoever to any tomcats anymore. Not even to Oren, the handsome Persian belongs to the orthopaedic surgeon next door. She used to be crazy over him, (masa tu Oren jual mahal),but wouldn’t even look at him now. The table is now turned on Oren who is currently wooing Grey every night with his sad love songs while Grey turns a deaf ear….bising je!!


Grey now spends her day doing nothing except sleeping and grooming, especially from 8 to 4 when both Abang and Adik are away at school. All these lazing around results in, what else but obesity!

BUT,

With both of you home, she does move around a bit , doing things like;



checking on Adik’s grammar….(which is “boring”,she declares,"way too easy for me,I’m a doctor after all”)




Done with Adik in the garden, run up to the house to assist Abang in Maths……."aha, this IS challenging, I like!”

At dusk, gotta prowl the ground, making sure no alien is in the vicinity ( not that she ever catches anything pun,eksen je!)



then,
back to the house for Maghrib…
"ooh, I've done so much work, a bit tired now..."

post-prayer,Qur’an time......
kinda sleepy here but still gotta make sure Adik's tajweed is in order!!















Then we have our nightly taalem, but no picture is available as everyone is sitting in it, including Grey…
And then…..

off to la la land……( tonite is Adik’s bed, tomorrow will be Abang’s)



Meanwhile,


The ongoing battle…………

Adik: “Look Mama, we look alike!”
Abang: “Excuse me,jangan perasan, Grey takes after me,okay!”

Grey: “WHAT? But I am a girl Abang…..and a cat too”
Mama: “WHAT EVER!!”




You be the judge………




p/s This entry is made purely to fulfil the promise I made to Adik to at least post 2 entries each month. Fact is, I’m back managing the shelter home and swamped with work, leaving no time to make a ‘clever’ entry…..so sorry I waste your precious time reading this…..


Grey: “Opps, Mama, you must include this, I look real cute here on my throne!”

A MOTHER'S LOVE

A day before Abah left for his postponed work-trip to Makkah/Madinah/Egypt , he brought home a fat envelope addressed to his office. Few days before that, he mentioned it to me, saying that he received a weird letter, but didnt have time to really read it, so I asked him to bring it home so that I could read it for him. I counted, there were 15 pages altogether!!

Reading it, I first laughed my heart out, thinking this is seriously funny. The lady who wrote it must be someone outrageous. But then, I read it again, considered it and I changed my mind.

I know think of her as a desperate mother, writing that letter out of love for her only daughter. A mother who wants the best for her child that she would do everything including writing to a total stranger as long as she could ensure that the love of her life will get the best.
Well, only a mother could do that. That's a mother's love.
A love so great that she risked to be labelled 'crazy' for doing the things she thinks would benefit her child. When I told a couple of close friends about that letter, that's exactly what both of my friends think of her.

The gist of her letter is asking Abah to find a suitor to her 23-year-old daughter!!

Did she ever meet Abah? NO. But she wrote in her letter, she felt like she knew Abah by reading and keeping all newspaper clippings about Abah. Apparently, one of her hobbies is collecting articles on religion matters or religious figures.
( but Abah doesnt fall into any of those categories kan? and then again, bukan selalu sangat pun Abah masuk paper/magazine, less than 20 times I think, unless she already stalked Abah since his penilaian darjah lima where Abah was one of the early students of SK Parang Puting hehehe,we always laught at the name much to Abah's chagrin, who got 5A's and masuk paper).
Reading all those clippings, ( again I wonder as the articles were mostly on Abah's professional opinions and very little on personal life), gave her the idea that Abah is the right person for her to turn to. To assist her in her mission. In her own words, she sees Abah as, " memenuhi piawaian seorang lelaki muslim"... ( sorry, I cant help laughing again as I'm writing this....I even glaced at Abah's forehead expecting to see ada cap SIRIM ke!!)

And to 'help' Abah, she enclosed pictures of herself, her husband ( very succesful-looking man), the said daughter and their big bungalow. And some pictures of them on their trip to the holy lands.

By now, I could actually identify with her. The letter was written out of her fear for her daughter's future. She looks around and sees how the world around her rapidly degenerating. How the morals of people around her crumbling....She sees that her daughter's life is at risk if she just let her choose her own life partner. She doubts all men ever asked for her daughter's hand. (Apparently, there had been some, including a 'datuk' from Penang.) She is sure that only the man who lives a live according to the rules of Allah while having a good career could provide the life she wants for her beloved child. She thus, make it her mission to find that lelaki yang memenuhi piawaian teruna muslim .

I am truly, truly sorry for her. I feel like reaching out to her, but Abah said it is a bad idea. We shouldnt be encouraging her. I wish and pray that Allah will fulfill her hajat, for it is a very noble one. I feel bad for not helping when someone is so desperately asking for it. I think, we should at least call her and let her know we read her letter even if we cannot help.
Adik suggested that I write this in the blog and the lady will read it.
Adik, for your information, less than 10 people reads this blog, okay!

Anyway, Adik and Abang, I would like you to know , THAT is the real job of a mother.
To always think and worry about their children, since the day they were born, to the day they die, if we are still around that is.We worry just about anything.....and we worry so much that those who are not mothers read fathers sometimes think we are a bit off.

Not that we are complaining though.....
That unconditional love you give back is more than make up for it......
The daily confession of "saaaayang Mama!", those hugs and wet kisses constantly showered on me, and the open adoration in your eyes when you look at me, just make up for all the troubles and hardship I have to endure.
Thank you Abang and Adik, for that priceless love.....
And I love you back more than you love me!!

READ A BOOK A MONTH CHALLENGE

Aunty Niza (in one of her many blogs) invited me to join a book challenge initiated by this lady. (Rules and purpose can be read at her blog.)

I agreed to play along only to realise later that I'm not actually eligible to participate anymore! Both of you had turn into independent readers! Gone are the days when you practically beg me to read to you. Or when I could use it as a reward, or at times, as blackmail...hehehe I'm not always a good mother, am I? I cant really say when did this changes took place...I can still vividly picture our reading times...

First, when you were still small and could both fit onto my laps, our favourite seat was the wing chair where we read those over size books with nice colourful pictures. 

Later,when my laps couldnt take two of you at the same time anymore, we moved to the window seat, with both of you sitting at either side of me. But the favourite position would always be, the three of us lying flat on our tummies, on Mama's bed, almost sure to happen on rainy days.......and when the book ended, all of us would flip up, rested your heads on my arms and fell asleep. I would then wake up with sore arms! Heemm, I kind of miss those times.....But of course we cannot do the lie in anymore, especially Abang, as he is now getting taller than me, making snuggling up to me quite impossible. Adik, however, can still manage it...... 

Alhamdulillah, both of you are now ardent readers. The best shopping spree for you is when I let you loose in a bookstore. Both of you hate shopping malls, so, bookstores are always the bait I use to lure you into accompanying me. If I say, " Okay, you got 15 minutes here, pick a book each ", I can always see this panic look plastered on your faces....Abang will pick a book just to put it back again, and pick another and another, repeating the process. At the end, I will have to relent, and the 15 minutes always s-t-r-e-t-c-h itself into an hour and one book each becomes 5 or 6 or 10 if Mama decides to join in too.....Thankfully, Abah always give Mama a free hand to swipe away the card when book buying is concern. 

These are books on Abang's shelf....... Once you got a new book in your hand, the tangible world cease to exist. I will have to call you several times before getting a response. You would be reading in the car, in the restaurants while waiting for food, at the hospital while visiting people ( which is very rude) and everywhere......Only the call of 'azan can make you put down the book.

At the moment, Adik is crazy over Sarah dan.... series and Abang collects all Dunia Sains Aiman titles. Adik, being over-imaginative as she is, is always very much influenced by what she reads. She started to keep a diary after reading Dear Yayah, neglecting the journal she had started in Year 1. ( the said journal had amused the visitors to our house to no end when she let the selected ones read it!) Nowadays, she collects earrings, asking for high-heels ( to my horror!) and these last two weeks have been pestering me to grow more roses.......all thanks to Sarah!!

I am very much impressed with Aiman's Diari Ramadhan.The scientific facts are presented in such a fun way that kids just dont skip on them. ( I know they do if it is stated in text book style). We could tell that the lady who wrote it, Umi Kauthar Abdul Razak, has made a thorough research both on scientific facts and quranic verses/ahadith she referred to in this particular book. 

On Adik's shelf.....( in her bedroom) 

  I cant thank Niza enough for introducing PTS books ....they are exceptionally good. Yes, I read all of them too. Not only as a preparation to answer your questions, but because they are so enjoyable. You may not want me to read for you or read with me anymore, but you are sure to keep coming and asking questions all the time, during and post reading. PTS books change my perception of Malay books.....I sincerely congratulate those people at PTS.

When I started reading to you, looooong time ago, there were almost no good Malay books suited to your age available. So, all books read to you were English books, mostly bought from Maribaca, the cute specialty bookstore of Aunty Niza. I always find it irritating to read a badly researched book where the author jumbles up facts and myth, especially when it is on religion issue. (so rampant in old school Malay book) The author might think it is not so important to be accurate on this matter as the children will learn more as the grow up. I beg to differ!! We tend to remember what we read in our childhood, at least I do! I have to thank Niza again for always researching and looking for good, high quality books for her shop, from all over the world. Her own kids, will, InsyaAllah be very lucky to have her as a mother, someone who is very passionate about books with extensive knowledge about them as well, more so with her pursuing early childhood education degree at the moment.

And I should also mention Niza's sister (whom I also call Adik) who used to attend Maribaca. She was one helpful and knowledgeable bookshop manager. I just have to mention Abang and Adik's current inclinations and she will recommends the suitable readings.....we are going to miss having her in that bookstore now that she has moved on....

So, we may not eligible to be in the challenge per se, but read will we....... Earlier this month, Adik bought Sarah Dan Bunga Mawar and Abang bought Sakit Gigi from Adam Kecil series.( see, Adik tends to read on someone older than her while Abang reads on someone his age or younger...hemm, the difference of boys and girls!!!) During the holiday, Adik picked up an Enid Blyton second-hand book out of curiosity( after Abah and Mama told her how crazy we were over Ms Blyton books in our childhood days) . It was The Secret Of Mooncastle and is yet to be read. So, these three books have kind of started the list for 2009 ........

InsyaAllah, if last year numbers are anything to go by, between both of you, I'm sure the number will far exceed the required amount of 12. Last year alone, you read more than 30 books and countless kids magazines, the likes of Kuntum, Ana Muslim, Dewan Pelajar etc. Adik has shown interest to read the Ku Temui Jalan Pulang, a compilation of true stories depicting the lives of the trainees of Raudhatus Sakinah before they end up at the shelter home. ( written by the trainees and edited by Ummiroses). I will have to read with her on this one after all........ ( as a matter of fact, Adik shows interest in all books I read and had recently tried to read Ayat2 Cinta, The Alchemist and A Thousand Splendid Suns only to abandon them after a few sentences...hehe, you cannot digest them yet la Adik!!)

FINALLY.......

He looks as if he is not moved at all. He reads about them in the free newspapers the office provides, scans the reports on the net and watches them on the idiot box...but he keeps his quiet. He doesnt take to the streets to participate in the demos, nor does he attends the seminars and forums taking place around him .

Until one day, he breaks the silence....

He says, "Allah never puts the strength of a battalion of army as a condition for success". 

He tells a story.
One of the day the Lion of Allah entered the holy city, victorious without shedding a single drop of blood ....... in a patched coarse garment, riding a weak horse. Not a glance cast on the lines of beautiful seductive women on their right and left. Those seductress then went back to their leader head hung low in shame. And they said,

"Those army of muslims are not human, they are angels...Their hearts are full of the greatness of their Lord, nothing could possibly tear them away from it. Hence the success.....". 

The enemy came forward surrendering the key of the sacred mosque. The fear of Allah combined with the strict adherence to sunnah were enough to put fear in their enemies heart, rendered them helpless.
 

(a slightly different version I then read in ASHARAH MUBASH-SHARAH authored by Mohammad Iqbal Siddiq... "A very interesting incident in the annals of history occured during the siege of Jerusalem. The Patriach of the town refused to surrender the place to any one else except the Caliph himself. Hadrat 'Umar( Allah be pleased with him) acceded to the request and traveling from Medina, with a single attendant and a dromedary to ride upon turn by turn, he arrived at Jabia without any pomp or ceremony. The interesting part of the episode was that when Hadrat 'Umar reached the gate of the city to meet the deputation led by the Patriarch, the attendant was riding the camel whereas the Caliph was walking before it holding the string in his hand. This scene proved to be so convincing and re assuring to the Patriarch that he immediately flung open the heavy gate and surrendered the town to the Caliph")

And he continues....

"That land is a holy, sacred land. The chosen place. The soil of anbiyaa'. When you are living in a chosen place, you are the chosen ones. You behaves accordingly. You follows the footstep of the anbiyaa' before you. You emulates their ways as far as you could. You live your life as shown by them....dress like them, eat like them, think like them......When you fails to do that, you invites the wrath of your Lord upon you.
You dress like those enemies of yours, in jeans and t-shirts, you eats like them, you speak like them, you live your daily life, thinking , behaving exactly like them. Your so called leaders, fight among themselves. In those calmer days, when the attack on you were not this obvious, the mu'ezzin called out azans and the imams got ready to lead the prayers, but there are more pillars than devotees in that holy mosque. You didnt appreciate it, took it for granted, so now it is being taken away from you. Sadder still, you are being chased away from your own homes as if you dont deserve to be there anymore....."

He prays for you people nights after nights. Way before Dec 26th 2008...........He begs Allah to pardon you. He cried buckets for hidayah. He pleads to the Lord to give understanding, the taufeeq for himself, his family and you and the whole of ummah...Indeed we are not behaving the ways expected from the true slaves of Allah. Most of the times, our minds are clouded by our own intellectual, shadowing us away from the truth.

He sends money regularly to help those innocent kids, been doing that long before this outburst. He doesnt need to boycott the products as he doesnt use them save for a basic, unavoidable few. He never consciously visit any of those fancy high prices franchise outlets. But they sometimes come to him, not at his own expenses. The rizqs are from Him indeed.

I listen, eyes glisten, and I feel enlightened...........

Meanwhile, Abang's favourite game that he plays by himself nowadays is, launching intelligent rockets from Gaza to the other side complete with self-produced sound system.
Adik is changing her ambition yet again to become a scientist so that she can invent that rockets.

IMPERFECTLY NATURAL....

Mama, as the trusted manager of this humble abode, has made a resolution for the year of 2009(sounds a bit cliche kan...and a tad late too!). 

We are going to eat more healthily!!! ( as part of my living au naturel project)

Cooking style will be severely altered. The oven/grill will suffer most this year ( and the year after and after....hopefully!). Next to it, all the non-stick pots and pans, and not forgetting the cast-iron pans which had been cast aside for quite a while, gathering cobwebs all over them. Oh, the clay pot too....for the singgang and such. No, I dont forget the steamer though it will come last as, except for veges, most of us dont really fancy steamed food.

Our grocery shopping lists will of course duly changed. All cooking oils will only come from olives(make it extra virgin or EVOO as Rachel Ray has it) or corn or sunflower. Pasta, wholemeal only. More organic chicken and beef. (Despite having a lot of az-zain organic produce in the freezer, we still sometimes buy inorganic chicken for bihun sup as we need more flesh for it). Organic eggs too. Tok Ayah usually provides us with these, thanks so much Tok Ayah. Tok Ayah's hens are highly productive, supplying eggs that really taste superb and the yolks are of a very concentrated yellow, giving nice tints to our dishes.

Hemm, I just have a thought! Maybe we should start rearing our own free range chicken in our backyard orchard. Add a kambing or two. You know, Abah did say, when we first built this house and started planting all those fruit trees, that we will have some sheeps/goats in our backyard when the tress are tall enough and the shepherd/shepherdess, thats you and you, Abang and Adik, are big enough. It was said 9 years ago, so I reckon the time has come now. What say you??

As for veges, we will cut down drastically on imported ones. They are 'petroleum covered' as they have to travel very far to reach us, thus use up lots of petroleum. (That's what I heard from Martha Steward's daughter, Alexis , if my memory's serving me right.) We will be kinder to the environment as well. While we are at it, Adik and Abang, please make sure you carry out your delegated tasks of putting plastic, glass and paper in the designated bins behind our house. And organic waste in the compost heap.

I ( with the help of Abah and Pakcik Nor the gardener) will try to grow more chillies,okras, long beans and eggplants, which have proven to be agreeable with our soil, and try out others like petola, cucumber and snake gourd as all of us are very fond of them. My contribution will be of going out and buy the seeds (and germinate if it needs be). Pakcik Nor or Abah, if his time permits, will dig out the hole and build the support stakes or just put in some twiggy sticks. You two will have the honour of watering them. Thus, we can all proudly say that, WE grow this veges....clever tak Mama? We will also eat more of shoots that grow wildly in our orchard as well as the ones grown by Abah/Mama. We are so lucky, aren't we? We got all kinds of ulam/pucuk just behind our backyard. They are gifts from nature read 100 percent organic and pesticides free....Alhamdulillah, we are so blessed. We could go on for one week without buying veges from the market if we wish to. I hope you will grow to like tapioca shoots and the pucuk beko. Yes, they are a bit bitter, but are full of all sorts of vitamins and anti-oxidants. Okay Abang, fret not, every now and then, we will buy your favourite zucchini and asparagus....I know for a fact that we cant afford to be fully natural much as we like it to be....

From now on, expect to eat more at home and more of homemade dishes, including bread. We will only eat out when we are on a holiday ( as in tagging Abah on his trips) or in the unavoidable circumstances when Mama is being bitten hard by malaise or malas bug.....Think of the amount of salt, sugar and artificial flavouring that we could cut down!!

As for fruit, we still have to buy those from citrus family as we obviously cannot grow them. Abah tried to grow limau madu once, but the produce proved to be the opposite of madu.... We end up eating them as 'ccolek. But we got plenty of bananas, all kind of them. We, or more accurately, Abah and Abang, grow pineapples. We do have papayas and water apples as well. Rambutans, dokong and salaks will be, Insya Allah, plentiful in their seasons. See, we dont need pesticide-laced fruits from the market!! Okay, we will buy apples for the pies and muffins.

Sorry kids, I'm reading the 'Imperfectly Natural Woman', hence this! I'm yet to finish it, so brace yourselves....I might stop you from using shampoos and shower foams next. We have the kaffir lime trees at the backyard! We should make full use of it, scrub our skin and scalp with them. Should start to make it a daily practise instead of once in a blue moon....I know Adik enjoys the sessions very much.

Oh yes , don't forget to take honey first thing in the morning. Honey is the 'super' food which everyone of us has benefited from. I'm sure you notice that all of us are having fewer attack of allergic rhinitis since we started taking it regularly for the past couple of years. As for Abang and Abah, they are depending on inhalers less and less. I could go on and on with its currative properties......

All in all, one thing we should always remember, no other way of eating is better than that of the sunnah of our beloved prophet. Eat when we are hungry and stop before we are full.

For a start....Abang is seen here happily tucking in his dinner of wholewheat spaghetti in bolognaise sauce made with organic meat balls and lots of veges. (He made it slightly unhealthy though by sprinkling too much grated cheese on top. Well,being thin and active, he can afford it...).And the drinks, sugarless fruit juice. Not bad huh!!