Monday, May 26, 2008


Today, out of the blue, Abah decided that it's high time for Mama to take a full blood test . As both of you know,Mama is known as the person with the lowest threshold for pain.... Well,who else go to A&E dept. at 4am for toothache and gastric pain. The latter could be forgiven I guess, but for toothache, even the dentist was flabbergasted. I just couldnt forget the way the MO oncall offered me something to reduce pain as he clearly didnt know what to do with me while waiting for the dentist to arrive. He came to my bedside and politely said, "would you like some narcotic madam?" as if he was offering me a cup of tea . And I eagerly said,"Yes, please", in the exact tone! 

I had been nagging Abah to ask for some pain-killing shot earlier, but Abah, as usual, being ethical , said we must let the A&E doctor decide, not ordering him .

Aaaanyway, back to the story....Abah had to hold me from the shoulder and Abang hold my left arm tightly while the nurse drew blood from my right....all the time comforting me, "Mengucap Mama,Ingat Allah, sekejap je lagi, bla,bla,bla... while Abah, as usual,was teasing and laughing at me!!!! I was so thankful Abang came along. Even the chinese nurse was impressed with Abang. She said,"Your son is so good,pujuk Mama dia,hensem pulak tu.Very lucky la you..".

The blood was sent to the lab,but just before that, the staff nurse did a test for blood sugar on the strip(or whatever they call it) and surprise, was quite high,7.5. 

I was still okay, but a sister walked in and right away gave me a free lecture on a right diet to prevent diabetes. What mind-boggled me at that time was, what she was preaching, is what I've been practising !!
Eat more veges(my nasi goreng has been accused as sayur goreng letak nasi), dont take sweet drink,(I rarely take sweet drink, dont even have to have one in the morning), exercise 3x a week(I swim 1 hour every wednesday and get on my strider every now and then...okay,okay ,I admit, not enough exercise) and take less carbohydrate( we only eat rice once a day, 3x a week).

I was still not concern,I blamed the sinfully delicious trifle I made yesterday and finish last night.But then Abah said, we are taking a fasting blood sugar and by right all the sugar in the blood should be dissolved in two hours and then proceed to remind me that Mak Tok is also diabetic(diagnosed in her early 60's) .Now that triggered something in me........

On the way to the town later,we passed a sugar cane drink stall, and I suddenly felt very sad that I couldnt have it anymore . I started to feel bad.....We dropped at JKM as I had to collect some forms for the shelter home (RS) registration. Abang accompanied me to the 2nd floor and how thankful I was for him as I felt very close to pass out while talking to the officer there. Alhamdulillah, we managed to get back to the car safely. From then on, I was like spiralling down thru and thru.

We then went to KB mall to buy something and as we passed our favourite cake shop,I offered to buy Abang something and Adik,do you know what Abang said? " It's okay cannot take sweet stuff,so Abang pun tak nak". When I urged him to buy a slice of his favourite cheesecake,he said,"Mama dah banyak berkorban untuk Abang,now it's my turn". Really!!!

I was stunned,coming from Abang....its not that I dont expect him to feel that way,but his wording...kalau Adik yang cakap,tak heran are such a sweet talker, but Abang is different. Abang doesnt speak much and he is not good at forming sentences, let alone using word as berkorban!! My wonderful son who had just had a double grading in tae-kwon-do few days before which has greatly surprised me...really,I have been underestimating you Abang!! I shall look at you differently after this....

We then went home and I straight away fell down on the bed. Abah has stopped teasing me by this time, seeing how affected I was. And both of my favourite guys massaged me to sleep.

By 3.30 Abah was back in the office and called me at home.

Abah:"Dah makan Sayang?"
Mama: "lum....."
Abah: "Why?"
Mama: "Blood sugar tinggi.....(in affected voice...)"
Abah: "Hehehe...just got the result from the lab...your FBS is only 3.4.."
Mama:"What?? And I've been worried sick for nothing...."

And at the very moment all the dizziness,numbness and headache that had been bugging me flew away from me......betul la ya,it's all in your mind!

Soooo,it was just a false alarm.Turned out that everything is okay except for my LDL-cholesterol which is a bit high.Must attack the oat bowl again...

Thank you Abang for all your nice words and your are my hero.

(And Adik,you are not here when this drama unfolded...out enjoying yourself with Kak Rahil and Kak sure it would be more dramatic if you were present)

Monday, May 19, 2008


Abah was in tha paper again yesterday....and his two doting sister-in-laws (ummi and Cik Lah excited bukan main. Mama cool je...They called me at 9 am while I was getting ready to get my haircut at the Spa Cantik.They asked me,"Dah tengok ke gambar M in Berita Minggu?" My answer was,"Dah tengok dia secara 'live' pagi tadi....hehehe..."

Sunday, May 11, 2008


Mama and Abah went away for three days to learn deen. Abang and Adik stayed with MakTok and Tok Ayah. These are the lessons learned;

Among others, Mama learns that all that happens around us are the outcome of our own amals, good or bad. The natural disasters, the inflation, as we can see now,the current bad situation truly reflects our bad amals,especially of how much we have forsaken the fikr and work of our beloved prophet.
When natural disaster occurs,not only we people suffer.The birds will loose their nests,the shelters of animals in the jungle will be shattered , even the fish in the sea will suffer.

Now I understand why the animals in the jungle,fish in the sea and birds in the sky make do'a for those with good amals,those who seek ilm for the sake of Allah and those doing the work of deen.Yes,because they will be affected by our amals,directly. As for themselves,they are always hymning the tasbeehat for Allah, it was us, the mortals who keep forgetting.....

The lessons from Adik;(dispensed after the nightly ta'alim,with the sternest face a 9-year-old could muster, while still in telekong sembahyang...)

1.Mama,to be a good parent,you must exercise more patience

2.You must be more like Mak Tok (eerrr...hemm,ni tak best ni,compare2 mama dgn maktok!)

3.We should eat on the floor,its a sunnah.The food must be lower than us, not higher.

4.And much much more....Adik,you really shouldnt be angry if I call you Mak Nenek!!

Looks like you have learned a lot from Mak Tok and Tok come I've got this feeling that my own parents are using you to convey things to me,hemmmp.....

Thursday, May 8, 2008


NR graduated from the shelter home today. She's been there for a year. She's the first trainee I interviewed as the acting manager of the home. 
I 'll never forget that day....

I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I just couldnt believe my ears and my eyes too. She's so pretty and bright, a student from a local U.....but she ended here.....I have heard, read and watched these kind of stories on tv but nothing prepared me for it. I just couldnt believe my ears when she said she felt proud that all those mat rempits are willing to die to get her. Yes, she was a 'trophy girl'. I was the one crying in the was a good thing Dr Zaharah (Aunty Joy to you) was with me and she was actually the one handling it .

But that was then...
Today I cried again looking at her.
Her eyes are full of purposes as opposed to blank stares when she first came. She told me that she is afraid to go out there and face the world again...and at the same time, so full of determination to do something especially on her own family. Apart from redeeming herself, she has done much good for the Home. With her religious background, she has taught a few trainees, who came in not even able to recite Aliff,Ba' and Ta', until they khatam the whole qur'an. I'm so proud of her........This is what make my work here meaningful to me.


Do you still remember adik,when you first started in kindy,you kept asking me to work, become a DOCTOR to be specific!! Why? because most of your friends's mothers are doctors, meaning they would stay at the kindy till the evening.You would sulk when I came to pick you up at 12 o'clock.You hated the idea that your friends would continue having fun at the kindy when you left.You would want to experience taking a shower and then a nap at the kindy with them, though you hated the food.

When I started filling in as the manager at the shelter home, you were ecstatic eventhough you didnt get to stay at any nursery anymore.(you were in year 2 by that time) Nevertheless, i t only lasted for ONE week!!The second week, you started questioning me ,"Mama,didnt you say this job is a temporary?" And the next week and everyday after that,"When are you going to quit?"

You started to miss having me welcomed you home at the door and smothered you and Abang with kisses. You hated to see me hurrying you up in the morning as I have to go out too. No more leisurely breakfast, memorising couple of new ayats from your tahfiz syllabus and no more bekal as I wouldnt have time to prepare anything.

As for Abah, much as he didnt like it, he still gave supports to me. Such a darling. But he would call me 10 minutes before zuhr, reminding me to be prepared for prayer, not to let my work disrupt my habit of preparing for solat before the azan.

I started there as a volunteer, teaching handcraft first, then was asked to teach English. I never thought that I would end up managing it for 6 months . It was a hectic 6 months, an eye opener.

Now, Alhamdulillah, a permanent manager is working full time at the Home and thus releasing me from the responsibilities. I will continue as volunteer as long as my service is needed. And I know all three of you are fine with it......You just dont want me to work full time.Your Aunty Joy asked me to take up Akhlaq classes and at the same time become some sort of counsellor for the trainees and adviser to the staff. And I am not qualified for any of it.....but I guess qualification is not really important in this line of work. Those kids just need someone they can talk to, someone that listens without judging and someone to give them a hug when they need one. I think I can do that........